I Did Wrong
by sansyeux
Summary: After being cheated on twice by Kakashi, Iruka decided it's time to give up on the man he fell in love with and the life they built together. But Kakashi isn't ready to give up on his lover and he's willing to do whatever it takes to show Iruka what their marriage means to him. (kakairu - Mpreg, Slightly AU)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: English is not my first language. Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

"Just sign the damn papers, please! I can't take this anymore." Iruka attempted to calm himself as he cried out to his husband. The silver-haired man stood there emotionless. Typical Hatake Kakashi.

"We can work this out. What the hell happened to working things out in a marriage?" Kakashi exclaimed, throwing the papers the Chūnin handed him across the room. Those papers would ruin his life forever.

"How many times, Kakashi? How many times do you do this to me to sit around and wait for you to change?" Iruka raised his hand on his forehead, softened his tone, and looked into Kakashi's only visible eye. "I'm tired of being the one who holds the relationship together. I'm so tired." Kakashi choked. What could he say? It was the second time the Chūnin caught him with a another lover. "Sign the divorce papers and let me leave. Let me go so you can fuck every person you want and tell them everything you told me. Promise them everything you promised me. But tell me Kakashi, are they going to be the one you break down on? Are they going to have what we had? Are they?!"

Iruka walked towards him and stared into his dark-grey eye. They were just feet away from each other, but the Chūnin felt miles apart from the silver-haired man.

Iruka began to walk towards the papers he spent time on for weeks. The Jōnin held his wrist gently and pleaded him silently. Kakashi looked at the tanned man's back turned to him and right then and there he knew he fucked up. Bad.

Iruka's heart broke into pieces because he was dying for the Copy-nin to apologize. Deep down Iruka yearned for Kakashi to hold his wrist and ask him again to work things out. He wanted to hear the sweetest words that would bring him back into the Jōnin's arms. But Kakashi stopped. Instead, he stood there speechless. Iruka pushed the gloved hand off his wrist roughly and picked up the papers.

Right before he walked out, Iruka turned and looked at Kakashi. "I hate you, bastard."

Kakashi remained firm. "I'm sorry."

"I swear to God I won't shed another tear for you. No more. I deserve better and you know that." Iruka walked out, leaving Kakashi with a heartache.

As Iruka walked out from the Hatake compound, he put his hand on his stomach and sighed. Everything came crashing down at once. He remembered walking in and seeing Kakashi with Yamato. He remembered the four years he stayed devoted to the Copy-nin.

"Oh Kami, what am I going to do?" Tears rushed down from his dark-brown eyes. He looked down at his stomach again and caressed it softly. "You're the only thing that's keeping me holding on." He whispered through his tears and frowned. "And he doesn't need to know."

* * *

The next day, Iruka didn't feel like going to work, hell he didn't even feel like waking up. He just wanted to sulk into his sheets and not getting up. But he knew he needed to work and then visit Tsunade and Takemaru; it was long overdue.

He groaned as he stood up and went straight to the bathroom. He took his clothes off and stared himself in the mirror. He couldn't understand how this happened to him. It wasn't possible, he was a man...But then he remembered that one time Kakashi had sex with him while he was henged as a woman. It was their anniversary and he wanted to make a surprise to the Copy-nin by using Naruto's Sexy Technique. In that time he really didn't think about the consequences of it.

He sighed softly as he stepped into the shower. Kakashi didn't need to know about it. He wouldn't know, but Iruka knew it would be impossible to hide it.

* * *

"Umino Iruka." The nurse called in the waiting room, giving the teacher a weird look. Iruka didn't blame her, he would also find it strange for a man marking an appointment with a gynecologist. "Follow me." The nurse pressed a code into a machine and the hospital patient section opened.

...

Irukalooked around the doctor's office and blew out a breath of air. Baby pictures flooded the room. There was a baby girl dressed in a purple dress wrapped in her parents' arms. Iruka smiled sadly because he knew that love portrayed in the picture would never be his reality. Maybe it just wasn't meant for him.

The doctor, Takemaru, stepped in a few moments later. "Well Iruka-sensei, your baby is doing fine." He said as he cleaned up Iruka's lower stomach.

Tsunade was right beside him, looking stunned at the Chūnin.

"Thanks." Iruka replied as he straightened himself up.

"On the other hand, Iruka-sensei, you do seem unpleasant. Is there anything stressful occurring in your life at this moment?" The concerned doctor asked as he set aside his tools.

Iruka's eyes wondered around the room for a minute. _Is there? When isn't there?_ "Somewhat." His tone was uncomfortable.

"And this doesn't have to do with the baby's other father?" Tsunade asked.

Iruka looked up at her, but didn't answer. Tsunade and Takemaru were the only ones who knew about his pregnancy. After he had collapsed in his classroom at the Academy, he was taken to the hospital. Takemaru was the one who had attended him. The medic-nin had to call the Hokage, not believing in Iruka's exams results.

Tsunade sighed and sat beside him. "Iruka I know what's going on between you and Kakashi but you need to think about this child you're carrying now. Stress does no good for the baby. Try to avoid little things that may cause you to be stressed. Take a nap during the day or go for a nice walk outside, for instance. I think you can teach for the next two months but I don't want you working in the Misson Desk anymore. I know how stressful that place is." She patted Iruka's shoulder softly.

"Thank you Tsunade-sama." He whispered.

She smiled. "These feelings and fears are common. You have no reason to be stressed, Iruka. Take everything slow and steady and I promise you'll win."

Iruka nodded and forcibly returned the smile. _Slow and steady...yeah that's easy to say._

* * *

Iruka sat on the couch with a loud sigh. It had already been a month he didn't see Kakashi. Iruka had decided to stay at Izumo's apartment while being separated from Kakashi. Izumo was nothing more than a friend, the Copy-nin also knew that. Izumo was Iruka's best friend and the closest person he had to confide. Besides, the Chūnin liked his friend's small apartment that had enough room for the both of them. But he knew he couldn't stay there forever. He had to look for his own place.

Iruka's thoughts were interrupted by a frantic knock on the door that could be heard miles away. It could only be one person. Kakashi knew that the first place Iruka would go to was Izumo's place. He couldn't stay with Naruto. The blond's appartment was too small. But there was also Anko and Genma, but no way he would go there, because they would tell him, 'I told you so...' and he didn't need that.

"Who is this person banging like a beast from the jungle?" Izumo laughed as he sat across the couch from Iruka.

The tanned man's heart started pumping quick. He could sense Kakashi's chakra and he could tell that the man was angry. "Go see." He nodded his head towards the door.

"I think it must be Kotetsu..." Izumo said as he made his way over to the door. As he opened it he looked back at his friend. "Er...Iruka-kun, I think it's for you" he said loudly as he walked away from the door.

"Can you ask Iruka to stop acting like a little boy and come talk to me?" Kakashi said, raising his voice so that Iruka would hear him.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-san but I'm not sure that's such a great idea right now." Izumo called. He left the door open and walked towards the couch Iruka sat on, which was away from the door so he couldn't see Kakashi and the copy-nin couldn't see him either.

"Enough with the crap. He's my husband. I want to see him. Now."

Izumo could see that Kakashi hadn't been sleeping. His lonely eye was blood shot red and the visible part of face looked paler than usual. He looked drained, like had just come back from a mission, but that was nothing compared to what Iruka was going through. Kakashi meant what he said, too. Iruka was still his husband.

The teacher stood up and walked towards the door with a stare that could freeze Hell.

This wasn't the way it was suppose to be. "Izumo, excuse us please." he said timidly as he walked over to the door.

As Izumo walked past Iruka, he whispered in his ear, "I'll be upstairs."

Iruka nodded and watched his friend going up the stairs. He turned to the man in front of him and glared. "What do you want?" he wrapped his arms around himself and looked straight in Kakashi's eye.

"You're just going to walk out like that and not even say a word to me to know if you're ok?" Kakashi replied lowering his mask. He bent his head closer to Iruka's face. His tall frame hovered over the Chūnin's slender self.

Iruka looked him with disbelief. This man had the nerve to indirectly place some kind of blame on him. "Walk out? You walked out on me the first time you were with Yamato. Don't talk about walking out, Kakashi. You were the first to do it and the last. Don't you dare play that card with me! You wanna make me feel bad? You're a sick person. Screw you..." Iruka started to shake and tears began to form in his eyes.

He was way too sensitive around the Jōnin. Too damm sensitive. Iruka spent too much time worrying about how to please Kakashi and how to keep him wanting him. He bit his tongue and didn't mention his opinion if it meant it would be overriding Kakashi's. From the day Iruka met him before the Chūnin exams, Kakashi always spoke like he knew what he was saying and nobody else could tell him different. The teacher was worried that if he tried to go against his words he would push the Copy-nin away or make him leave. And now that was his reality - the Jōnin didn't even try to get in touch with him after he left. Kakashi had just accepted his leaving. _Now what does he want?_

"Would you just stop for two seconds and think about what your stubborn ass is saying. I love you dammit. I love you, Iruka. I fucked up and I know it." Iruka began to walk away, towards the couch again not wanting to turn around, because he knew if he did, he would just make a mistake. "No! Stop walking away." Kakashi said roughly.

"You're hurting me. Over and over and over you hurt me. Just leave me alone. Do me that one favor, Kakashi. Let me learn how to deal! I lost you once before and I can deal with it again." Iruka couldn't take it anymore. It was like trying to fix something but that one piece was always going to be missing.

"How much time do you need?" Kakashi asked quietly as his eyes scattered the floor.

"None. I already know my answer." Iruka replied. Only he knew the pain that was deep down.

Kakashi sighed loudly and tried to release the frustration. "Please, Iruka ...I can explain..."

"Why? Just tell me why you did it? Am I not enough for you? What did I do wrong?" Iruka broke down. He never wanted to break down in front of him or anyone else.

He didn't like to be seen as a weak ninja.

"I'm so sorry." The Jōnin pulled him close to his chest but Iruka moved back.

Kakashi bit his lower lip. He missed the tanned man's touch. His soft, delicate caramel skin. The way he laughed at Genma's stupid jokes. He missed his messy brown shoulder-length hair in the morning and his warm body rubbing against his as they laid in bed. But most of all, he missed his lover, his friend, his partner...He missed Iruka. The sweet kind-hearted teacher who was not afraid to say what was in his mind. But now, it was all gone because of a mistake.

His eyes hit the floor, back and forth, hesitantly. Kakashi took two steps closer to his love that was quickly slipping away. "I can't keep apologizing. I know I fucked up again. Iru… God, I didn't do it because I don't love you. You think I don't love you? Are you insane?"

Kakashi's voice was so tender that it made Iruka want to cry. Refusing to be broken again, he turned his face and took more steps back. As Kakashi walked towards him, he made sure Iruka face was looking directly at his.

Iruka took a deep breath. _Don't cry, don't fucking cry,_ he told himself "Let me talk." Kakashi's lips immediately opened and slowly fell together again. "I am in so much pain right now that I can feel it in my soul. I stay devoted to you..bu- bu- but you..why is it always if you do something wrong then it's ok? Or you try to throw something back in my face to make me feel bad. It makes your stupid ass feel better about yourself and about what you did, doesn't it?" Iruka choked for a second, and blinked back tears but they fell anyway. "You do me wrong every time someone offers their bodies to you and you accept it. I stuck through all the shit for you to believe that we could be happy together. You ruined it. You ruined everything!" He yelled furiously as the tears were no longer held back. "I'm want the divorce and I'm not changing my mind."

It took a minute for the whole truth to sink in on Kakashi. Never had it gone this far. Sure, Iruka had walked out the door and meant for it to be over, but never the Chūnin had gotten the paper work together to divorce him.

Iruka turned around and hung his head in shame at himself for staying by the silver-haired man's side through it all. They say shame on you for fooling me once, shame on me for fooling me twice. It was his fault. At least that was the way he felt.

He felt a sharp pain on his stomach, he had to bit his lip, so he wouldn't yelp out of pain. His hands fell to his stomach and he hugged the little tummy that was hidden under his Chūnin uniform.

Kakashi touched Iruka's shoulders oblivious of the man's condition. "Tell me what you want me to do. I can't make you forgive me this time, can I? I don't expect you to forgive me today. I wish you would but I know you won't. Just help me. Help me to stop screwing up."

"You need to go. Now."

Iruka looked at the beautiful big mirror Izumo had hung in the middle of the room. He saw himself and his husband. All he saw was a mess. A big, huge, mess. His attention went back to the moment. But he still couldn't look Kakashi in the eye.

"Iruka, you're the one who can help me just like before...Just like when I come from a mission and you're there for me, to comfort me…to love me…to bring the human in me…Iruka, only you can help me... I…I love you. You can, I swear."

Iruka closed his eyes as new tears started. _too late._


	2. Chapter 2

That Sunday afternoon had to be one of the most beautiful in months. People carelessly roamed the streets as they found pleasure in being outside. Iruka met up with Anko after promising they would catch up on the current events happening in their lives.

Anko was the one who "officially" introduced Kakashi to him. He remembered that after the argument they had over the Chūnin's exams, Iruka went to apologise to the Copy-nin and found Anko and Kakashi talking. He apologised and somehow after that they became friends.

When Sasuke left the village and almost killed Naruto, Kakashi transformed into a ticking bomb. He blamed himself for not being a better instructor and for teaching Sasuke the Jutsu that almost killed one of his students. Kakashi took any misson he saw in front of him, not even caring about how drained he was from the previous one, or how dangerous it was.

The effect Iruka had on Kakashi was amazing. Indescribable, really. In fact, it was so indescribable that it was unbelievable until people witnessed it with their own eyes. Kakashi would snap at anybody and didn't care to take advice. Iruka somehow found a way to get him to cool his reactions. And It didn't take long for the Copy-nin to realise that he was sexually attracted to Iruka. But the Chūnin would never be his fuck buddy, and Kakashi became immediately intrigued to find out more about Umino Iruka.

Iruka was always attracted to men since he could remember. Sure, he was attracted to Kakashi. He loved everything about the Jōnin. The power. The mystery. Even his laziness. His pale skin with his mismatched eyes and the spiky silver hair. Everything about Kakashi seduced him. Sucked him in. Iruka shouldn't have fallen for him, but he did. There was a moment in his life when he thought, Don't give him the chance...don't do it! And yet he did. When he gave Kakashi the chance, they immediately fell in love.

Konoha was an open-minded village, so people didn't really care about their relationship or when the Copy-nin proposed to him. He couldn't believe in his ears when Kakashi whispered softly 'marry me' to him. At first Iruka thought the Jōnin wasn't serious, but then he saw the ring... He couldn't say no. He loved that man and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

However, time changed both Kakashi and Iruka. Not individually, but their relationship as a whole became different. After the marriage, Kakashi caused his partner pain and heartache one too many times. The hurt he caused was different than Iruka's old lovers. This was the kind of hurt that keeps you up at night, retracing every step you have made with the person you love. The kind of hurt that makes you put a guard up, not so much to keep others out, but to keep yourself locked in.

After all that, the Jōnin still possessed his mind, body, and soul. Iruka wouldn't know what to do with his life without Kakashi. Time would have to be on his side. He would have to re-adjust, makes some changes...learn to deal.

Anko joined him in a coffee shop. "Tell me again exactly why you are going to file for divorce?" She asked him as she sat quietly at the back booth.

Iruka signed frustratingly. He unbounded his hitae-ate and massaged his temples. "Because, I've told you a hundred times, Kakashi and I are through. He can't control his dick and I can't control my heart." His reply was a surprise to both Anko and himself .

Iruka sipped his sweet and light coffee and watched Anko's jaw drop. Iruka, became uncomfortable by the purple-haired woman's reaction at his words.

"Okay, I believe the part about Kakashi not being able to control his sexual desires, but what's this nonsense about you not being able to control your heart? Are you trying to tell me you don't love the man anymore? I'm not buying that crap Iruka." Anko said as she looked at him with suspicious eyes. "Hell would freeze over before you fell out of love with Kakashi ...and honestly, I don't see that happening anytime." Her sarcasm caused Iruka to show a shaky smile.

Iruka shook his head. "Thanks a lot. You make me feel so much better." he turned his head to look out the window. It was a beautiful autumn day but the view became ugly in seconds in Iruka's eyes.

"Seriously Iruka...whats up?"

"Anko, I am being serious. Kakashi doesn't love me like he used to. If you love someone, you don't cheat on them. What's wrong with me? Am I not attractive enough? Am I not strong enough? I don't get it. I can't win with him, so I give up." Iruka vented.

"Of course you're attractive, look at you Iruka-kun! You're shining. You're such an eye-candy. Believe me, if you were into woman i wouldn't let you escape." Anko replied smiling. "Did you see that guy's head, in the entrance, turn around when we entered this place? And do you remember how the girls in the village got sad because you said you're only attracted to men and you had a lover? Come on Iruka, give yourself some more credit."

It was true. Iruka turned his head slightly to the left and saw a very good looking man staring and whispering at his friend. Iruka slightly smirked and blushed deeply. He still had it. He doubted himself at times, saying he was chubby and didn't like his body, yet other people had no problem appreciating his beauty. If only he had Kakashi's attention like that.

The man was Hisayoshi - Iruka knew him. He kept locking eyes with Iruka as the teacher looked over at his table. He sat back in his shinobi uniform and just stared back and forth with Iruka, hoping to catch a smile from the Chūnin.

"Do you see him? He is totally checking you out." Anko whispered. "And he's so fucking hot."

"Stop it! He is not checking me out. He's probably looking outside or something." Iruka wasn't full of himself and didn't believe anything until he was proven wrong.

* * *

Kakashi put Mirai Sarutobi's 3 years old hand in his own large one as they walked with Kurenai on the weekend. Kakashi sometimes liked to spend his time with the red-eyed woman and her daughter. Asuma was like a brother to him, so he loved walking and playing with the little girl.

Kurenai and Mirai quietly walked to the ice cream store, one store away from a coffee shop. Kakashi eye carelessly wondered around as he thought of how much Iruka liked that coffee shop. The Chūnin would sometimes spend hours there...

* * *

"Hi, I'm Hisayoshi Ishizuka." The dark-haired Jōnin extended his hand to Anko.

Anko, caught by surprise with a smile, "Oh…hi! Hello, um, I'm Anko.. And I know you...You passed the Jōnin's exams last week right?." She returned the handshake as she looked him up and down to check out his masculine physique. The guy was fine as hell.

He nodded smiling lightly. "And you must be Iruka-sensei?" His blue eyes looked over at Iruka and also put his hand out.

Iruka frowned. He knew Hisayoshi when the guy was Chūnin, but they never talked before. Hisayoshi was a field Chūnin. He was always in missions. He was strong enough to be a Jōnin, at least it was what Iruka heard and he also heard that the dark-haired man never wanted to become a Jōnin. But it seemed like he'd changed his mind.

"Yes ." Iruka replied softly and shook his hand. Iruka gave him a weak shake but only because he was caught off guard. He didn't think Hisayoshi would actually leave his table to approach them.

"Can I buy you guys some dessert? I know it might be forward, but you caught me starring at you so I thought, if I made an ass out of myself already, let me at least introduce myself before you think I really am one." Hisayoshi stated.

Iruka shook his head lightly and chuckled. He flashed the Jōnin a bright smile. "That's very nice of you Hisayoshi-san, but I don't think that's necessary. Thank you for the offer."

"But I insist. Let me get you something. What would you like?" Hisayoshi directed his attention to Anko, who was cheesing the whole time at the way Iruka blushed at this man's persistence.

"He would like chocolate chip muffins and so do I" Anko said, not caring if she was forward as well. Hey, he offered, and she was not going to turn down a dessert.

"Anko!" Iruka exclaimed as he squinted his eyes.

"I'll be back." Hisayoshi replied with a chuckle.

"Are you insane? I do not want a damn muffin from this guy. I don't even know him very well...Only by name…He's going to think we're losers for taking a freaking muffin from him!"

"Relax Iru-kun. Who cares about what he thinks! Stop worrying about what people think and if you can have your cake and eat it too, well, then do it." Anko had a good point. It wasn't that serious. He was simply conversing with a guy who was really pleasant to the eyes and kind with his words. "Don't look, don't look, don't look." The words were barely audible.

"What? Don't look where?" Iruka questioned her. He shifted his head parallel with Anko's direction. He saw his soon-to-be ex-husband outside with Kurenai and Mirai. Iruka roughly turned his head to Anko. "Don't you dare say a word, Anko. Don't signal anything. Do not do anything." He said seriously. He wasn't ready to face Kakashi after their blow up at Izumo's house.

"Don't worry. I won't do anything." Anko said.

But you couldn't blame anyone on the fact that Kakashi caught them from a distance. Iruka panicked when he couldn't see Kakashi outside anymore, he put back his hitae-ate and became flushed. "If he comes in here, I'm walking out. No joke, Anko. I don't want to see his face. I cannot see him."

Nobody could have stopped Kakashi from coming in the shop. As Iruka saw the silver-haired man making his way into the back of the shop, his hands trembled. He saw Hisayoshi walking back in their direction, too. The exit looked too far away.

Anko rose out of the booth and called out to her friend. "What the hell- Iruka! Iruka, where are you going?!"

Iruka's thoughts ran through his head so quickly he couldn't put together half of the things going on in there. Damn these small spaces between each table. Damn, damn, damn...

Not being able to escape Kakashi because of the small spaces to walk through, he was stuck to face him...or not. He was ready to perform the transportation jutsu, but Kakashi caught his arm and softly pulled him ear to his masked mouth.

"Whoa, whoa...come on, Iruka. Talk to me." He whispered in his ear as the teacher attempted to pass him.

Kakashi voice brought shivers down Iruka's spine. His feet, covered in comfortable flip flops, felt like they were stuck in cement.

Kakashi wanted to touch his Iruka, throw the chūnin on the floor right then and there and take him. He missed Iruka more than words could explain. He was going to get his chūnin back, no matter what.

"Move out of my walk!" Iruka whispered sharply in Kakashi's ear. He couldn't look into his dark-grey eye, afraid he would fall deep into it as he had before. How could someone look at the person they love after that person has hurt them so bad? It was nearly impossible.

"Calm down. I just want to talk to you. Why won't you give me that chance?" Kakashi stepped back and looked at the Chūnin. Iruka was beautiful. His soft, tanned skin glistened in the light.

He could see he was starting to draw an audience as they stood in the center of the coffee shop. He didn't care though - they could have stared all they wanted, but what he wanted was to explain himself.

"We don't need to talk. Your actions spoke for you." Iruka stepped to the side, pushing his shoulder against Kakashi's as he attempted to withdraw from his touch.

"I know they did, and I'm sorry. You're not going to never speak to me again...I'm your life partner Iruka, you do understand that, right?" Kakashi asked, almost sarcastically.

"Unfortunately" Iruka muttered under his breath. The Chūnin could see Hisayoshi returning with a few things in his hands from a distance. Shit, Iruka thought.

He looked back over his shoulder to see Anko staring with a 'what-do-you-want-me-to-do?' face. Hisayoshi continued to walk towards Iruka and Kakashi with a small smile on his face.

"Hey! Hope you weren't leaving before dessert" Hisayoshi chuckled.

The atmosphere became quieter and as the dark-haired Jōnin realized Iruka only gave a half smile back, he raised his eyebrows.

"Who are you?" Kakashi asked in a very annoyed tone.

"He's none of your business. Kakashi, turn around and walk out. You're honestly causing a scene" Iruka said harshly. The jōnin slept with other people, therefore it was none of his business whom Iruka talked to.

"Um...am I missing something?" Hisayoshi asked with a puzzled look.

"Yeah you are. Who are you buying dessert for? Iruka is with me, keep it moving." Kakashi told him sternly. Nobody was going to talk to his Iruka, whether the Chūnin was mad at him or not.

"Didn't seem like he was with anyone a few minutes ago." Hisayoshi didn't care about Kakashi's attitude, he knew damn well the famous Hatake Kakashi of the Sharingan, but he wasn't intimidated at all, and that pissed Kakashi off even more.

"You better watch your mouth, I don't wanna cause a scene but if you make, I will" Kakashi raised his voice and grabbed Hisayoshi by the collar.

"Stop!" Iruka shoved Kakashi away from Hisayoshi by the chest as an attempt to diffuse the situation.

Kakashi grabbed Iruka's arm and pushed the teacher with him outside. Now he was pissed.

Iruka stood outside with his arms crossed, his hair in the high ponytail gently blowing up from the light wind. Kakashi couldn't help but take notice of how beautiful and young Iruka looked. The thought of another man getting the chance to touch his chūnin, to know him, or to buy him things killed the copy-nin. Yet, he was the one who let them get in the situation they were in now.

Iruka's back was against the wall of an adjacent store and Kakashi was so close to him, Iruka could smell the scent of his cologne. It smelled sexy..strong..perfect for the Jōnin.

"You stop talking to me for a few days and you got guys buying you shit and letting them get the idea that you're single?" Kakashi exclaimed.

"Since when do you care about that? In case you haven't figured it out, in my mind we are separated, God dammit. You enjoy fucking other people, maybe I should start enjoying the same!" Iruka should be shocked by his own response but he wasn't. How dare Kakashi question him and assume things in the situation they were in.

"Iruka, you keep talking like that and the fact that I cheated on you is not gonna save you from me taking you to a bedroom, ripping your clothes off, and showing you to whom your body belongs to." Kakashi replied closely to his lips.

Iruka shuttered at the thought and closed his eyes. Even if he hated Kakashi for doing what he did, the chūnin loved to be in his arms, in his bed, under his power. But too many have gone there while he believed he was the only one, and those images haunted him more than his passion for the older man.

Kakashi tugged his mask down and moved closer to Iruka's lips, using every muscle in his body to refrain from kissing them. They were luscious, ripe, and ready to be devoured, if only he had the chance.

Iruka looked inviting, too. He hoped his body language gave off a defensive feel, but Kakashi knew that wasn't the case.

"Tell me, how have you been?" Kakashi asked softly.

"Why do you care to ask?" Iruka whispered angrily.

"You can be such a stubborn person, do you know that?"

"You can be an ignorant prick, too. You can't just talk to me whenever seems right for you. It doesn't work that way."

Kakashi was close, too damm close. Iruka felt his body betraying him. He wanted to capture those pale lips in a deep and passionate kiss.

Kakashi cursed as he felt an uncomfortable prickling sensation in his left arm. "Fuck. I'm being summoned. Iruka I have to go, but please at 7pm I want you to meet me at that restaurant next to Ichiraku." He instructed.

"No" Iruka stated simply as he began to walk away. Kakashi held his wrist and the chūnin put his hand on top of his gloved one. "I said no Kakashi, not this time." Iruka looked him directly in his eye. The soft dark-brown eyes appeared darker than they'd been for a while.

Kakashi looked down at their bonded hands. "Please 7pm or…"

"Or what?" The teacher tempted.

Kakashi saw Kurenai and Mirai coming towards them and backed away from Iruka. "I'm going now. Please don't forget. 7am." Said that the jōnin disappeared in puff of smoke.

"Iruka-sensei!" The vibrant girl ran to Iruka making him forget all that just happened.

"Hi Mirai-chan" Iruka lifted Mirai in his arms and held the little girl tightly against his shoulder. "Hello Kurenai." He greeted Kurenai who just smiled and nodded to him.

It felt like forever since he had last seen Mirai. When Kurenai started taking missions again, she would ask Iruka to look over her daughter. The Chūnin sometimes saw Mirai like a daughter in a sense. It pained him to hold the little girl in his arms and think of his baby growing in his stomach without Kakashi in his life. There had to be a way it could work.


	3. Chapter 3

05:30 pm.

06:30 pm.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Iruka paced back and forth in his small apartment. He'd moved out of Izumo's place soon after staying a few weeks with him. The teacher needed his own space and time to think without contaminating his mind with the harsh opinions of others. He knew it was easy for friends to criticize him for his naïve decisions. At times, he criticized himself as well and rightly so.

Now he had time to think about another decision.

"To go, or not to go, that is the question." Iruka whispered to himself as he twirled back and forth in front of the mirror. He unzipped his vest and lifted his shirt. He rubbed his stomach and twisted his neck to ease some pain he felt creeping around his shoulders and down his back. His stomach was still small. It didn't show that he was pregnant at all. He sighed. _Who said that it was a good idea to use Naruto's Sexy Technique?_

It was another bad decision he'd made; listening to Genma's love advices. But he couldn't blame the special Jōnin. It was his own fault. He wanted to make Naruto's technique better, make it more realistic. But he'd ended up making a big mistake. Not only his body had changed outside but inside too. And he remembered that he couldn't change back to his male form after that. It took him two days to change back, and during these two days Kakashi had no stop sex with him.

It wasn't anyone fault but his. Now there was the result. He was pregnant. What people would say? It wasn't natural. He would be judged, and he wasn't ready for that. People could accept him loving and marrying another man, but how would they react about his pregnancy. He didn't know if he could do this alone. _If at least Kaka…no Iruka, you don't need him, you never did. He doesn't have to know about this…about this baby._ He thought to himself. But he knew he couldn't hide it. Soon or later people would know... Kakashi would know.

He pulled his hair into a pony tail, away from his glowing face. It is true what they said - being pregnant gives one a glow.

He walked back and forth from his bedroom to the living room again and again. He did it repetitively, hoping when he reached the living room once again he would come up with a decision. He didn't know whether he wanted to give Kakashi another chance.

"A chance? It's not really a chance. I'm not giving him a chance to do anything. Maybe talking to him will ease my mind." He said to himself. "Great - now I'm having conversations with myself." He rolled his eyes and walked to the small living room.

He glanced to the digital clock sitting on his cabinet. 7:00pm.

He zipped back his vest, put his hitae-ate, locked the door, and made his way to the restaurant. _It's now or never._ I

...

Iruka entered the restaurant. It was more packed than usual. He looked at the clock on one of the restaurant's wall as he followed the hostess to his seat where Kakashi was waiting for him. 7:45 pm.

Iruka was surprised to see the Jōnin. He was late and Kakashi was waiting for him and not the other way around for once. It was the first time this happened. The copy-nin was always late.

"Nice of you to show up." Kakashi said lightly agitated as he stood up to greet Iruka.

"You're lucky I did." Iruka replied as he sat down. The table was quiet, and Iruka looked around to see couples all around him, talking and laughing happily. He really didn't want to stay here. "You wanted to talk?"

Kakashi sighed. "How are you?"

"Fine. Yourself?" Iruka replied, staring into Kakashi's eye.

Kakashi touched the side of Iruka's face with his knuckles. Iruka turned and looked away. "I'm alright. I miss you."

"Kakashi, do you ever think we could work this out?" Iruka looked across the room.

"I do."

"How? How can I forgive you?"

"Iru, it's not going to take a day, I know. But you have to want it. If you don't want this, making it work will never happen." Kakashi stated sternly.

Iruka didn't want to admit it but he didn't know if he wanted to make it work. He didn't know if it was worth it. Would the memory of the past haunt him forever? If it did, he couldn't go on being with the Jōnin. "Sometimes I think it's better to walk away than try to glue the broken pieces back together, pretending the new and imperfect is better than the old." He stated honestly.

"Maybe you're right, Iruka. But not in this case. Not with someone you've been with for four years. Not with your other half!" Kakashi pleaded.

Iruka wanted to say something. Something that would hurt him more than Kakashi but they were suddenly interrupted by the waiter.

"Good evening. I'm Taji and I'll be your waiter for the evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?" The waiter asked politely with a bright smile.

"We'll have saké…" Kakashi replied.

"No, no saké for me tonight. I'll have water, please." Iruka told the hefty waiter. He nodded and returned to the kitchen.

"No saké?" Kakashi looked at him puzzled.

Iruka didn't want Kakashi to know that he couldn't drink. He hated the taste of alcohol, even the smell of it made him wanting to throw up. Plus, he was pregnant and Tsunade had highly recommend no alcohol during pregnancy. "Not tonight." He opened the menu and gazed around it, looking for something to eat.

Usually he would be tense, but he was starving. His appetite was growing daily. Kamameshi sounded delicious to him. He remembered he used to cook it for Kakashi when he'd returned from a mission.

"Remember the night after the spring festival last year? You had gone on a two weeks mission and you were two days late. I was so worried. I made Kamameshi for you, hoping you would somehow think of me, my cooking and our home and come home faster." Iruka giggled to himself and shook his head. "How silly of me...I heard that you had come from that mission four days earlier...And you don't know how I feel to found you in the in red light district? Nothing could keep you from being with those women, huh?" Iruka tilted his head and stared at Kakashi seriously, hoping for a reaction. It was so hard to get one from the Jōnin with that mask covering part of his face.

"Iruka, I didn't sleep with any of those women, I already told you. It was only with Tenzō. And I did it because I was stupid and scared. When you told me I was the best thing that happened to you, I ran the other direction. I didn't understand how I could be that for you when I wasn't even happy with myself. I knew you deserved better, and I sincerely wanted to be better for you, but I didn't think I could. Iruka, I thought maybe if I cheated on you, you would leave and make it easier for me to leave, too. I loved you so much it scared me. You were against so many people who meant so much to you for me. And for what? I was garbage. I treated you like shit. I never opened up to you. I shut you out, and that made me feel like crap. I swear Tenzō meant nothing to me. Just another fuck. Nothing, Iru. I have to wake up every day remembering what I did, and you never stop reminding me. You don't give me a chance to do better because of your negative thinking." Kakashi took Iruka's hands in his and rubbed the chūnin's ring finger. "Where's the ring?" He asked, his jaw clenched.

"I threw it away the day I gave you the papers." Iruka shook his head thinking about the jōnin's previous comment. "I'm thinking negatively? Are you out of you mind, Kakashi? I'm trying to deal with your bullshit, and you tell me I'm thinking negatively? Excuse me if it's hard to look past the image of your husband in bed with another man!" He snapped.

"Shhhh - lower your voice!" Kakashi whispered sharply as he looked around, making sure nobody was paying attention.

"You have some nerve even talking to me like that, Kakashi. You really have no idea what you did to me, do you? I waited for you night after night, hoping you would come home. I lay in bed, thinking of all the possible places you could be. Worried when you were late from a mission. Never once did I imagine you were in the arms of another person. Never," Iruka began to tear up. "Never." he repeated over and over, in disbelief of the state he found himself in.

Kakashi sighed. "I get that, Iruka, I do. But you need to work with me to get better. You have to give me a second chance, please. It's the only way."

"I don't know if I can do that." Iruka replied as he wiped under his eyes.

"You have to try. Just try, please." Kakashi pleaded as he leaned in closer to Iruka's face.

The chūnin moved back when he felt the silver-haired man's face come close to his lips. "You know, I had dreams that something was wrong. I had a dream that you were talking to a woman, other times with a man, and that I was crying. I couldn't stop crying in my dream. I just kept thinking, 'Why is he hurting me?' It felt just as bad in my dreams as it did in real life." Iruka explained. He was simply trying to get his feelings across. It was so hard getting through to Kakashi, but he desperately wanted the man to understand his pain. If it didn't work out between them, it would be okay, as long as Kakashi understood what he put him through emotionally.

"That's not a dream. That's a nightmare." Kakashi said with sadness in his eye.

Iruka shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was so hard to be inches away from the jōnin without touching him. "Yeah...I thought it was a nightmare, but it was my intuition, and I didn't listen. I regret that so much, Kakashi. I wish I listened to my head instead of my selfish heart."

"You love me so much it's hard to think with your head. I do, too, you know. I love you Iruka. I really do." Kakashi stated matter-of-factly as he kissed the tanned knuckle. Iruka shivered.

"You're wrong Kakashi-san. I loved you. I don't know what I feel right now." Iruka said as he held onto Kakashi's hand tighter, not wanting to let it go.

* * *

 _Just kill me and get it over with,_ Anko thought as the pounding echoed again. She blinked a couple times, rousing herself awake enough to realize that the pounding was not in her head. She looked at the clock, thinking _, Who the fuck pounds on a woman's door at three-thirty in the morning?_

She dragged herself out of bed and shuffled down the hall toward the front door. Staggering, she hopped to her left as a sharp pain jolted up her leg. "Ow! Shit! Some ninja you are Anko..." She hobbled to the couch, propping herself against the arm as she grabbed her big toe. "Damn bar chairs!" It was her own fault. She should have turned on the light.

The pounding became a bit erratic.

"Yeah, yeah! I'm coming," She yelled as he sensed a very familiar chakra in the other side of the door. She crossed the rest of the living room far more awake than she wanted to be at that hour. She yanked open the door. "What?!"

Iruka's bloodshot, blurred, swollen eyes looked back at him from under an unruly mat of brown hair. "Anko, I'm starving."

...

Anko blinked once, blinked twice, and still the image in front of her didn't seem right. Iruka in his pyjamas, sitting in her kitchen and happily eating something that she cooked. She cooked. And the thing was that Iruka couldn't shup up about how delicious it was. Anko knew that she was a bad cook. She'd tasted the food and it was horrible, not to talk about the smell. So how could Iruka say that it tasted good?

She knew something was off with the Chūnin. He looked always tired and his stomach was slightly bigger. _Is he sick?_ She thought as she remembered the day she overheard the Hokage saying to him to stop teaching and get more rest.

Anko needed answers. She was worried about Iruka. What if he was really sick? And she was letting him eating her cooking. Wasn't it going to make it worse?

Iruka stopped eating and looked down at the food. After the 4th bowl of whatever Anko had cooked, he started feeling the real taste of it. And it was horrible. How could he eat that? Most importantly, why was he eating that? Oh, he remembered; He woke up craving for Anko's cooking.

He tried to go back to sleep and ignore it, but he couldn't. So he found himself, three o'clock in the morning, heading to Anko's house.

He frowned when thought about what Tsunade had told him about the stages of pregnancy, and it was too early for him to start craving, but then, his pregnancy wasn't like the other ones.

A wave of nausea hit Iruka when the smell of the food hit his nose. He swayed on his feet and if possible the nausea got worst. He dashed for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He heaved in to the toilet seat, surprised that he was vomiting a lot, considering the fact that he didn't have breakfast and dinner. His lunch had been a small cheese sandwich from the Academy's cafeteria. It was Anko's food for sure. He'd eaten four bowl of that garbage. He wondered what she'd put in that food. He didn't have time to ponder on what Anko had cooked for him for another heave escaped his mouth, sending whatever contents he had in his stomach in to the porcelain white bowl.

"Iruka-kun! Are you okay? Oi! Iruka!" Anko pounded on the bathroom door.

Before Iruka could answer, another heave raked his body. He remained doubled over the toilet seat for nearly twenty minutes until he felt the nausea disappear. He sighed and pressed the flush button before shakily getting to his feet. His knees buckled under him and he fell back on the little toilet rug with a small cry.

That was when the door finally broke open and a worried Anko stepped in to the bathroom.

"Iruka?" Anko asked with worry. She helped him getting up and took him to the living room. Both of them sat on the couch. "Are you okay?"

Iruka nodded. "Yes, can-can you bring me water, please."

Anko, worried, went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. Iruka took it with shaking hands. Anko sat next to him, guilty for letting him eating her cooking.

There was a long silence before Anko spoke. "Iruka...will you tell me what's wrong? Are you sick?"

Iruka placed the glass on the coffee table and took a deep breath. It was time for him to share this with someone else other than the Hokage. He needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand him. "I'm not sick…I'm...pregnant." He looked down at his hands, waiting for his friend's reaction.

"So," Anko began after a long minute of silence. "That's why you wanted to eat my food so bad…you were craving for it?" Iruka nodded slowly, not looking up. He wasn't sure if that's what he was expecting to hear. "And that's why you felf sick?"

"Somewhat."

"Oh thank god," Iruka looked up when he heard Anko's relieved sigh "I thought you were sick or something. Wow I can't believe you're going to be a father Iruka-kun, that's amazing."

Now Iruka was confused. "That's it?" He asked frowning. "You're not going to ask me how? You know I'm a man…"

Anko rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Yes, I'm little choked with the news, but you know, we live in a ninja world in which we have techniques that allows us to walk on water, and control people's minds and even create clones of ourselves. I knew there must be one or two forbidden jutsu and Kakashi knew it... "

"It wasn't Kakashi." Iruka murmured looking back at his hands. "He did nothing, I did this. He doesn't even know I'm pregnant." He sighed softly before continuing. "It was our anniversary and I wanted to do something different. I used Naruto's sexy technique. But I wanted it to look more…real and last longer. I didn't want it to dispel while we were…you know...having sex" He paused and blushed slightly when he remembered that night. "I used a transformation technique similar to Tsunade-sama while I was using Naruto's sexy technique at the same time...And the result was that. It was all a big mess. Not only I changed outside but inside too. It took me two days to change back. Kakashi doesn't know about it, and I don't want him to know...I hate him…I…I don't know what I'm going to do...What people will think of me? It's not natural. And what about Naruto? He's not going to look at me the same way."

"Oh Iruka, it's okay." Anko whispered holding one of Iruka's shaking hands. "Don't worry, I'm sure Naruto will understand. That kid loves you. Besides, I'm here..we're here. Me, Genma, Izumo, Kotetsu, the Hokage...everything is going to be okay.."

Iruka looked at her and smiled. "Thanks Anko."


	4. Chapter 4

Iruka dismissed his class and sat slowly on his chair. Two months of pregnancy and he was already feeling it; his stomach had grown enough for him to start buying larger clothes, so he could hide it from people, and now he was having morning sickness, not to talk about the extreme fatigue he felt. He tried to control his temper and keeping himself calm, but it was impossible. As much as he tried, in the end of the day he would always find himself yelling at someone. And it wasn't just the kids at the Academy pushing his wrong buttons, there was Kakashi too. Whenever he met with the silver-haired jōnin, they would always ending up arguing.

Iruka shook his head, pushing the image of the copy-nin in the back of his mind. He picked up the stack of assignment to begin grading it, when his eyes caught sight of the man standing in front of him.

"Hello, Iruka-sensei!" The man greeted him with a smile.

"Good morning, Yamato-san." Iruka looked up at him rather annoyed. "Can I help you?"

"Well Iruka-sensei, I came here to apologise." Yamato said, rubbing the back of neck. "I know it's a little bit late to do this but I really didn't know how to approach you before. I shouldn't have done what I did and now because of me you and Kakashi-senpai…"

"Yamato-san," Iruka cut him off sharply as he stood up and grabbed his things to leave. He was feeling tired anyway, he wanted to go home and rest. "You knew Kakashi was a married man, but you still..." He took a deep breath, realizing he was getting mad, and all he didn't need right now was stress. "…you know what? Forget it. Just save your breath. Me and Kakashi were through even before I caught you with him. So you don't need to apologise, because even if you guys didn't do anything, I still would put an end in our relationship."

Yamato winced at Iruka's voice. It was full of hurt and pain and anger at the same time. "I'm really sorry Iruka-sensei"

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Yamato-san. Now if you…" Iruka's voice trailed off. He felt a sudden pain in his stomach.

"Iruka-sensei? Are you alright?" Yamato asked and Iruka could feel the concern in his voice.

"No" He menaged to answer. The pain was overwhelming. He put his hand on his stomach and tears began to come up in his eyes as he leaned himself against his desk for support.

"Iruka…" Iruka heard his name being called out by someone, but it wasn't Yamato. It was Kakashi. He knew that voice too well. He tried to look at the jōnin but he couldn't see anything, his vision became blurred.

"What are you doing here? What did you do to him?" Iruka heard Kakashi say.

"I didn't do anything senpai, we were talking and then…"

Iruka couldn't hear the rest of Yamato sentence. He felt himself being lifted before everything went black.

…

Iruka woke up feeling slightly dizzy. He drew his hand on his forehead and noticed that his hitae-ate was gone and his hair was down. He looked down and saw that his uniform was replaced by a hospital gown. He shifted on the bed, trying to sit up, but two hands grabbed his shoulders and keep him down. The pain he'd felt on his stomach had receded and was nothing more than a slight pressure against his belly.

"Iruka, don't strain yourself." It was Tsunade. She looked worried at him, but Iruka somehow felt that there was more than worry in her eyes. "Lay back down, please." Iruka obeyed, slowly laying back down. "Can you remember what happened?"

Iruka looked at her puzzled. He couldn't remember how he got in the hospital. All he remembered was him talking with Yamato, then the pain on his stomach and then darkness. Iruka put his hand on his stomach when it hit him. "The baby...is it okay?…"

"Yeah, she's fine." Tsunade said with a smile.

"She?"

"Yes, it's a girl. I just found out about it when I did some tests on you to see if everything's okay with you and the baby."

Iruka looked down at his slightly round belly. He couldn't help but smile. "A girl?!" He whispered to himself.

Just before Tsunade could open her mouth to speak again, she heard the footsteps along the corridor outside. Hiashi Hyūga came into the room. "Iruka-sensei."

"Hiashi-san." Iruka inclined his head respectfully, but then frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"Iruka," Tsunade looked at him with concern. "The tests I did to you showed me something that really worries me, that's why I called Hiashi here. Please let him examine you."

"Why?"

"Just let him, okay?"

Iruka nodded, still not understanding why. He hoped everything was fine with his baby.

Hiashi stood in front of him, scanning over his body using his Byakugan. He looked over at Tsunade with a stunned look on his face. When she had called him for help and told him about Iruka's pregnancy, he couldn't believe at first, but now he was seeing the little life growing inside of the chūnin, it was incredible. He never thought it could be possible. A male, pregnant!?

He saw the chakra pathway system in the baby's body. _Amazing_ , he thought.

"Well?" Tsunade broke the silence.

Hiashi sighed. "I can see her chakra."

"You-you can?" Iruka asked. "It's only two months, it's hard to detect the baby's chakra..."

"It's not." Tsunade sighed, folding her arms across her ample chest. "Iruka, your pregnancy is not like the others, not only because you're a male but also because it's the result of a Jutsu." she explained. "As you already noticed, your stomach is getting bigger each day. Though you're only two months pregnant, the baby is developing very fast."

"And that's bad because..."

"You see, Iruka-sensei." Hiashi said. "you know, Chakra is created when two other forms of energy are moulded together, physical and mental energy!? These two energies becoming more powerful will in turn make the created chakra more powerful..."

"Get to the point Hiashi." Tsunade glared at him.

"Your mental and physical energy are there, Iruka-sensei. That is what is left. Whatever Jutsu you did, seems to have taken a lot out of you. But the strange thing is," Hiashi looked at Iruka and sighed. "It's like you're not producing anymore energy, like it has stalled itself." Iruka looked up, he'd taught about chakra a lot, and new almost everything about it. What Hiashi just said would never be possible. "And the only chakra left in your body is being transferred to the baby's body. No wonder she's growing so fast."

Iruka's frown deepened. "How...?"

"We don't know yet, but it needs to be stopped, because it's not only your chakra that she's absorbing but your vitality as well. That's why you've been growing weaker and more tired each day. Normally you gain weight during pregnancy, but you're losing it. If it keeps like this..." Tsunade bit her lower lip before continuing. "Iruka, you can die during childbirth or after it."

It felt as though Iruka's blood had turned to ice. "And is there anything we can do to stop it?" His voice shook.

"Right now, there's only one solution," Tsunade pursed her lips. She looked at him with compassion but did not shy from the truth. "interrupt the pregnancy."

The chūnin stared at her, his heartbeat thundering in his ears. His hands went straight to his stomach. "No…I…don't...I can't..."

"I know Iruka. You don't have to decide this now." Tsunade said softly. "You're going to be release tomorrow. Then I want you to go home and think about it. But remember, you don't have too much time."

* * *

Kakashi found himself in Konoha's ninja bar. The place was popular because of the open layout, cosy seating and well thought out lighting (subtle but not dark, giving privacy while not putting the nin on edge).

He was huddled in his normal booth, the one in the very back that looked out on everything, but was hard to see from the rest of the bar. So the copy-nin could remove his mask and drink like a normal person, as he could clearly see when anybody started toward his table.

He saw his kōhai coming towards him. Kakashi quickly tugged his mask up. Yes, he did sleep with Yamato, but the younger ANBU didn't know how he looked like. No-one did. Only Iruka. He'd never kissed Yamato, because he meant nothing to him. But why couldn't Iruka understand that?!

Yes, he was stupid and insecure. They were fine. Iruka worried himself sick whenever Kakashi went out on missions and the copy-nin felt wanted. Iruka smiled when Kakashi came back and he felt better, no matter what had happened before. But still he'd betrayed the chūnin.

They'd been together for 3 years already when Kakashi noticed that he'd changed. He came back to the village and had to see his chūnin. Not wanted to see him but had to. Kakashi had to see him happy, had to make him smile, had to see him every day, had to have him around as often as possible, and that frightened the silver-haired man. He was a ninja and he wasn't suppose to feel fear. He wasn't suppose to feel anything or show weakness.

And it all happened when Iruka had started to become everything to him. The young, innocent, cute little academy teacher he'd thought was smitten for him in some kind of puppy love was on his best way to become the centre of Kakashi's life. And the jōnin didn't want that. He didn't want to be that close to Iruka.

And that was the moment he started to regret about everything. He wondered why he proposed to the younger man and why he wanted to build a family with him. He didn't want Iruka to be one of his precious people. In the end they all left him and he didn't want that. He thought if he cheated, Iruka would leave him, would stop loving him and he would stop seeing the young teacher as his everything.

He was stupid, he knew it. He realised that he didn't want Iruka to leave him, he wanted the chūnin to stay by his side no matter what. But it was too late. Because the day he'd realised that, Iruka had caught him with Yamato.

"Rough day?" Yamato asked sympathetically, noticing how exhausted his senpai looked as he sat across from him.

"You don't even know." Kakashi sighed.

"Is Iruka-sensei still mad at you?"

"Somewhat." Kakashi let out another sigh. Saying that Iruka was mad at him was an understatement; the chūnin hated him. No. Hate was too good of a word. He despise him.

"Why don't you give him some space?"

"Huh?" Space? Yamato was suggesting him to give Iruka's some space? For what? So people would think that they were in bad terms again and give the impression that his chūnin was single. No way in hell he would do that. "Look Tenzō, if you have nothing good to say, don't say it at all. This is all your fault to begin with." He growled.

"Excuse me?" Now it was Yamato's turn to growl. "I respect you a lot senpai,, but you have some nerve to put the blame of your mistake on me. WE both hurt Iruka-sensei. I really don't know what I was thinking when let you fuck me. Iruka is right, you really are an asshole." Yamato stood up but was stopped from leaving by Kakashi.

"Okay. I'm sorry." The Jōnin said apologetically. "I'm really tired. I just want to make things right with Iruka again."

Yamato let out a big sigh before sitting down again. "It's okay." He said "and when I said that you should give Iruka-sensei some space, I didn't mean it in a bad way, senpai." He explained. "Iruka-sensei doesn't seem fine, you saw what happened today. You heard the Hokage. Iruka has been under too much stress. And it is no good for his health...it's the kids at the Academy, the ninjas at the Mission Desk, now you. He needs some rest and time."

Kakashi didn't say anything at first, he knew Yamato was right. He was being selfish. . "So what do you suggest Tenzō?" He asked almost like a whisper.

"I don't know...like I said, give him some space and prove him that you changed. That the Hatake Kakashi he fell in love with is still there. Make Iruka-sensei fall for you again."

"And how do I do this?"

Yamato almost rolled his eyes. Honestly, Kakashi could be a genius in the battlefield, but when it came to feelings and socialising, he was an utter idiot. But of course he wouldn't say that out loud. Well he couldn't blame the man. Kakashi didn't have a life other than receive orders and kill without asking. "Well…Iruka-sensei will be released from the hospital tomorrow. Why don't you go there and ask him to go to a picnic with you to relax. Don't talk about the relationship, just ask him how he is, about his day. Try not to argue with him."

Kakashi arched one silver eyebrow, "A picnic?" It wasn't a bad idea. He could do that.

"Okay senpai, I need to go now." Yamato said standing up and Kakashi got the message. Yamato was being summoned. "Excuse me" His kōhai said politely as he exited, leaving Kakashi with his thoughts.

Kakashi looked down at the beer bottle he was holding. He remembered the first time he went out with Iruka. In the beginning he didn't want anything serious with him, but as their first date went on he felt more and more captivated to the young teacher. Iruka was honest, serious and too gentle for a ninja. He was big and soft-hearted and the way he talked about Naruto and his other students just made the copy-nin smile.

Iruka made him feel human. And he wanted that. He wanted someone to remind him why he should fight and come back safe to the village. He wanted the tanned man, to stay beside him everyday, waiting for him when he got home from a mission; he wanted Iruka's warmth and kisses. Oh, those kisses; Kakashi had to confess that he wasn't a person who liked to kiss too much, but with Iruka was something else. He just couldn't get tired of kissing that beautiful and sweet mouth.

Kakashi groaned, closing his eyes. This time he really fucked up. But he would make the chūnin love him again.


	5. Chapter 5

Iruka entered his apartment feeling numb and not knowing what to do. He took off his clothes, waddled into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He waited until the water was hot enough to relax his muscles and stepped inside. It was a quick shower, only to get rid of a little tension.

"What should I do?" he whispered to himself and felt tears filling his eyes as he remembered what Tsunade had said to him about his pregnancy.

As a ninja, Iruka wasn't afraid of death. But he loved life...He loved his life; the kids at the Academy, his friends, Naruto...even Kakashi. And the thought of not seeing any of them again, scared him more than anything.

 _No, I don't want to die.._.he felt the baby stretching luxuriously...and then giving him a very solid kick. He flinched and pressed one hand against the curve of his stomach, and started rubbing it slowly. Iruka shook his head. "I can't – I can never do that. I can't let you die either."

When he was done cleaning off, he toweled himself dry and looked over at his reflection. His stomach was really way too big for only two months pregnancy. He was thankful Tsunade had taught him a Jutsu to conceal it, so he didn't have to use baggy clothes to hide it anymore. It was a very simple technique that didn't require too much chakra.

He sighed softly as he gave his hair a good brushing and put it on his usual ponytail. He wore his uniform and walked towards his living room.

His apartment was ridiculously small, but it was all he could afford. Before Kakashi, Iruka worked two jobs as well as taking B and C ranked missions through the holidays and that gave him just enough to live comfortably. After his marriage with the Jōnin, he really didn't have to worry about money. But now, with the pregnancy, he had only the job at the Academy – since Tsunade had forbidden him to work at the Mission Desk – and teachers didn't get paid a lot.

It wasn't like he was complaining, he loved his job as a teacher at the Academy, and if he could, he would work there for free, and the apartment wasn't so bad. He liked small spaces, but now with the baby, he knew that he needed a bigger place.

 _What am I thinking?_ he thought sadly, _I won't even be here for her anyway. When she's born, Tsunade probably will inform Kakashi and he'll raise her in the compound._

Sighing, he walked to the coffee table, remembering that he still had papers to grade. "Come on Iruka, don't think about it now..happy thoughts, ..." When he was about to sit down, there was a knock on his door.

Thinking that it could be Izumo bringing the rest of his things he'd left at his friend's house, Iruka closed his eyes and concentrated as he performed the Jutsu Tsunade had taught him. Izumo still didn't know about his pregnancy. Iruka intended to tell him, but not now.

When he opened his eyes, his belly was gone. It wasn't completely flat, there was still a small bulge, but he could easily hide it with his clothes.

"I'm coming..." Iruka opened the door on the second knock. "Yes?"

"Iruka-senseeeei"

Iruka was greeted by Mirai who hugged him tightly, almost knocking the chūnin down.

"Mirai-chan?" he blinked then lifted the little girl in his arms against his shoulder. "What are you doing here? Where's Kurenai?"

"She couldn't come, Iruka-sensei" Iruka stared in surprise at the man standing on the other side of the door, smiling at him. "I was coming here when I bumped into her in the street. She had to go on a mission, and asked if I could bring Mirai here...I hope we're not interrupting anything."

Iruka smiled back at him. "Ah... hello Hisayoshi-san. Don't worry, you're not interrupting anything. And thank you so much for bringing Mirai-chan. Kurenai usually brings her here when she has important things to do."

"Iruka-sensei, can we cook cake again?" Mirai asked with a grin.

"You mean bake? Yes we can do that." The Chūnin couldn't help but smile. Mirai was such a cute little girl. She was just like her mother. They both had the same beautiful red eyes and dark hair. He wondered what his child would look like. Would she have his brown hair or Kakashi's silver one?…s _he will be beautiful if her hair was like kaka_ …Iruka immediately pushed that thought away. He didn't know why he was thinking about Kakashi. He really didn't want his child to look like the silver-haired man at all... "Stupid Jōnin," he muttered.

Hisayoshi raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Iruka looked up shocked, forgetting that Hisayoshi was still there. "Uh. Sorry, Hisayoshi-san. I was thinking about someone else. Please come in." Hisayoshi stepped inside, toeing his shoes off by the door. Iruka headed towards the kitchen. "Don't mind the mess." he said, placing Mirai on the floor. "Can I get you anything Hisayoshi-san? Tea? Water?"

The Jōnin waved off his concern. Hisayoshi paused in Iruka's living room, eyes scanning the room, taking in the photos on the walls and the messy sprawl of papers across the coffee table, before dropping gracefully to the floor. "Grading?"

Iruka nodded, "Was about to, but I can do it later."

* * *

Kakashi clutched the wicker basket in his hands. He was frustrated. Iruka was nowhere to be found. He'd gone to the hospital, but had been informed that the Chūnin had already been released. Iruka wasn't at the Academy or with the Hokage, and for some reason, he had stopped working at the Mission Desk, which left Kakashi with a very limited number of places left to look. He went to Izumo's house, but it seemed like the tanned man wasn't living there anymore, and no matter what, Izumo wouldn't tell him Iruka's new address.

Kakashi put the basket on the floor and took out a kunai from his back pouch and pressed the blade against his thump until blood came, then he formed the seals for the summoning jutsu and pressed his hand flat onto the floor. Immediately, a cloud of smoke rose and the silhouette of his pug appeared.

"What is it, boss?", Pakkun asked and yawned.

"Find Iruka," Kakashi snarled.

Pakkun looked up in surprise, "What, did he finally get tired of you?"

Kakashi growled at him. "Just find him."

"Okay, okay." The pug sniffed around a bit. "You don't smell like him anymore, Boss."

"I know," Kakashi gritted out. "Just do it."

"Fine."

He started out at a trot but as he felt Kakashi's frustration leak out into his chakra he started to run. The jōnin didn't seem to care. He saw the people stepping out of his way as fast as they could, wide eyed and staring. Kakashi seemed like he wasn't caring if he was ruining his reputation as a lazy and pervert jōnin. He was building on the 'bat-shit crazy jōnin' reputation instead.

* * *

Hisayoshi was sitting in Iruka's kitchen, watching over the little Mirai as she ran all over the house while the Chūnin washed the dishes.

"She's is so smart," Hisayoshi said, taking a swig from the beer Iruka had given him. "So young and already understands the life of a ninja. I wish I was a little bit like her when I was her age."

Iruka frowned. He wiped his hands dry and sat across the Jōnin. "You do? Why?"

"Well…I don't know. I really never understand why my mother had to go on missions and leaving me home alone." he explained. "She died during a mission and for years I hated her for abandoning me."

"But she didn't abandon you…"

"I know. She died protecting the village. She died so I could live."

"She died so you could live." Iruka repeated almost in a whisper. He placed his hand over his stomach thinking about the life inside of him. His parents also had sacrificed their lives for him. Maybe he could do the same. He didn't know his daughter yet, but he already loved her and right now her life was more important than his.

That moment Iruka's thoughts were interrupted by Mirai. The little girl had stumbled and fallen, making little distressed noises and Hisayoshi left his beer on the table, stood up to go to her. He picked her, throwing her up in the air and catching her again, only to Iruka's horror. "Please don't do that..."

It was too late, Mirai sent all the content she had in her stomach to Hisayoshi's uniform. The Jōnin looked disgustingly at his uniform then to Mirai who seemed happy with her doing. "Again 'yoshi-san, again." She giggled.

Iruka took Mirai from Hisayoshi's hold and placed her on the floor, "I don't think it's a good idea Mirai-chan." he said cleaning her mouth with a napkin, then he turned to Hisayoshi. "I'm sorry about that…please let me fix this. I have a spare uniform, please go to the bathroom I'll take it there."

Hisayoshi shook his head "No, It's okay Iruka-sensei. It was my fault. I forgot that she'd just eaten. I'll go home and change."

"Nonsense, I won't let you go out with vomit on your uniform."

Before Hisayoshi could complain again, Iruka left him in the middle of his living room and went to his bedroom, and Hisayoshi took the time to observe the apartment again. It was new; that much was clear for the way it was almost empty. It had few boxes still unopened in a corner. He entered the bathroom, closing the door and looked around. It was really small, but very neat.

He took off his vest and undershirt. The door of the bathroom opened and Iruka appeared with a folded and clean uniform on his hands. "Oh, sorry...I should have knocked..." The Chūnin said embarrassed and Hisayoshi couldn't help it but smile.

He had noticed before that Iruka was attractive, now he was seeing he was gorgeous. He'd seen the Chūnin schoolteacher so many times, but never had tried to get close to him because of certain silver-haired Jōnin. Iruka had a nice body, and was a little bit shorter than him. But his most prominent feature, however, was the horizontal scar crossing the bridge of his nose. It was that scar what had made Hisayoshi look at him twice and think he was attractive at first.

"It's okay Iruka-sensei. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. We're both men after all."

Iruka smiled awkwardly. He saw Hisayoshi's blue eyes travel down his body and resting on his chest and stomach before moving back up to his dark-brown ones. The chūnin noticed for the first time how incredibly handsome Hisayoshi's face was. He had pale skin and deep blue eyes. His hair was short and dark like coal. And just like Kakashi, he was fit and muscled in the right places.

 _Kami._ Iruka quickly averted his gaze.

"Oh, you're not wearing it!" Hisayoshi said as took the uniform. Iruka blinked. He looked down where the Jōnin was starting at.

"What?"

"Your ring...I guess it's really over between you and Kakashi."

"Oh, yes."

"So, how are you?" Hisayoshi asked.

"Oh, I'm just great," Iruka answered sarcastically. "My husband was having an affair. Couldn't be better."

Hisayoshi sighed. He put the shirt on and vest and zipped it up. "I just can't believe Kakashi did that to you. He can be a real asshole sometimes."

Iruka opened his mouth to defend the silver-haired man on instinct, but then caught himself. Hisayoshi was right. Kakashi was an asshole.

They walked silently to the living room. Iruka sighed heavily as he sat down on the couch and watched Mirai playing around the coffee table. Hisayoshi came and sat beside him. The Jōnin shook his head and mumbled, "he doesn't deserve a guy like you."

Iruka scoffed. "Yeah. Right. 'Cause I'm such a catch." he waved his arms around his mess of a house as if modeling it for a showcase showdown.

Hisayoshi opened his mouth to respond, but changed his mind. They sat quietly for a moment.

As Iruka sat, he wondered if Kakashi had cheated with others besides Yamato. The Jōnin had said that no, but Iruka wasn't sure if he could believe him.

After a few awkward moments, Hisayoshi finally spoke. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Well, I already filed for divorce, but Kakashi didn't sign the papers yet. And now I'm thinking about finding a better place to live. All I know is that I'm not going back to him."

Hisayoshi smiled. He felt happy to hear those words. But Iruka didn't seem to notice it. "You wanna go grab some lunch?" he asked.

"No, that's okay. I'm not really up for it. Plus, I need to take care of Mirai."

"Aw, come on. We can take her with us. Look at you Iruka-sensei, you look so skinny. Need to eat something. It's just lunch. Come on. Get up."

Hisayoshi stood, grabbed Iruka's wrists and pulled him up, but it was so sudden, that Iruka tripped, smacked straight into his body. "Oof!"

Iruka's hands touched his vest and Hisayoshi's arms moved around the Chūnin to keep him from falling.

 _Wow, he is warm and smells so good_. "Okay. I'm okay," Iruka said quickly as he pushed away from Hisayoshi. "Let me get my hitae-ate and we can go."

"Okay. We'll wait for you here."

Iruka went to his bedroom and scurried to his closet. "This is a bad idea," he muttered to himself as he took his hitae-ate and tied it around his forehead. He headed to his living room. Hisayoshi and Mirai were sitting on the sofa playing.

When the Jōnin saw him, he stood up. "Ready?" He smiled.

Iruka nodded. "Yeah."

* * *

Kakashi's eye narrowed as Pakkun led him to Ichiraku. He caught the sight of brown hair caught up in a bushy ponytail. He smiled, but it rapidly faded as he saw who was with his Chūnin.

Iruka was walking down the street, towards the ramen stand, holding one of Mirai's hand and Hisayoshi holding another.

Pakkun walked and stood in front of Kakashi. He glanced at teacher, and then at Kakashi, who was standing behind him watching Iruka with an unreadable expression and stealing glances at Hisayoshi.

 _Why is this guy smelling like Iruka-sense_ i, the pug thought. _This isn't going to be good_.

"Puppy..." It was Mirai's voice that made Iruka stop walking and looking down.

"Pakkun? What are you doing here?" Iruka looked up past the pug to where Kakashi was standing. The Copy-nin was watching Hisayoshi warily but the killing intent rolling off him was so strong that his chakra was seeping out and crackling in little bursts of lightening around his body.

"You better control that Boss, you're scaring people." The pug told Kakashi but the Jōnin seemed to ignore it. "Well, my work here is done." he said before disappearing.

Kakashi turned his attentions to Iruka. "You trying to get back at me?" he asked. "I fucked Yamato and you decide to see other people?"


	6. Chapter 6

Hisayoshi-san, I think it's better we go back." Iruka practically stammered the words as turned to walk away from Kakashi, but a vise like grip clamped on his wrist, and he was forcibly turned to look at the silver-haired Jōnin.

"Iruka," Kakashi's voice was dangerously low. "we need to talk."

Iruka sighed as he freed his wrist from Kakashi's grip. "We have nothing to talk about, so if you excuse me…"

The Chūnin was about to turn again to leave but Kakashi stopped him. "You're not going anywhere until we talk. Are you with him now?"

"What if he was?" This time it was Hisayoshi who spoke, giving Kakashi a defiant look. "As far as I'm concerned, Iruka-sensei is free to do whatever he wants."

It wasn't very easy to make Kakashi lose his cool, but Hisayoshi was really pissed him off. Iruka knew Kakashi and he could tell the man was angry. He got a little annoyed at Hisayoshi for upsetting the Jōnin. They were drawing attention. People stopped to see what was going on. But before he could do anything, Kakashi launched himself at Hisayoshi, knocking the man to the ground.

"You…!" Kakashi screamed as he and Hisayoshi rolled on the ground, pounding their fists into each other.

Anko and Genma suddenly arrived and pulled Kakashi off Hisayoshi, but the silver-haired man easily pulled away from them and decked Hisayoshi again. Hisayoshi punched him back, connecting with his jaw.

"Stop it!" Iruka shouted.

Anko and Genma grabbed Kakashi while Iruka grabbed Hisayoshi and pulled him away.

"You fucking bastard! I'll kill you!" Kakashi shouted at the dark-haired Jōnin. "Iruka is mine."

Iruka moved in front of Hisayoshi and held him back.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-san, but I don't see your name written on him!" Hisayoshi shouted and Iruka just wanted him to keep his mouth shut. "And you know what? You don't deserve him, you selfish prick!"

Kakashi turned his attentions to Iruka. "You trying to get back at me?" he asked.

Hisayoshi lunged for Kakashi and his fist made contact with his face. Iruka tried to push Hisayoshi back, but the teacher was caught in the middle of the two Jōnin's. Kakashi's fist was aiming for Hisayoshi, but it connected with the side of Iruka's head.

"Iruka-sensei!" Hisayoshi shouted as Iruka slumped to the ground.

When Iruka's eyes fluttered open, he realized he was lying flat on his back on the ground. Anko was kneeling by his side while Kakashi was about to do the same to help Iruka too but only to be stopped by Genma.

"You okay, Iruka-kun?" Anko asked.

"My head hurts," the Chūnin moaned.

He looked up at Hisayoshi's bruised face. The Jōnin was worried about him. He tried to sit up, letting Anko help him to his feet. "Come on, I will take you to Tsunade-sama." She said giving Kakashi a dirty look.

Iruka nodded, then looked over at Kakashi. He could tell that the copy-nin was seriously feeling guilty. "I'm sorry I hit you," Kakashi murmured. "It was an accident."

"I know," Iruka said as he rubbed the area next to his left eye. He looked at Mirai. He'd almost forgotten the little girl was there. She looked scared and ready to start crying. "Hisayoshi-san, Genma and Anko, can you guys take Mirai-chan for some ice-cream. I need to talk with Kakashi."

Anko came closer to Iruka. "But Iruka-kun, we need to check if everything's okay with...your head…"She whispered causing Iruka to sigh.

"Everything is fine, don't worry Anko. I'll meet with you guys later, okay?"

The three of them nodded and left, taking Mirai with them.

It took most of Kakashi's self control to let Hisayoshi walk away, when every nerve in his body was screaming to kill this man, kill him now. Aside from a vague sense of unease and more jealousy than he really wanted to admit to, he had no reason to suspect Hisayoshi of anything. Maybe it was just jealousy, though that was the first time that Kakashi had actually admitted the emotion to himself. But it was more than just jealousy. There was something about Hisayoshi that was off. But Kakashi couldn't quite figure out what it was.

The commotion of the whole scene had drawn attention. Kakashi shot glares at people. Within seconds everyone scattered.

"Are you okay? Please let me help you." He moved and put his arms around Iruka, but the Chūnin pushed him away.

"Stop it," Iruka whispered. He wanted to scream and shout but he didn't. They were in street and yelling wasn't a good idea right now. But he needed to put out everything he was feeling somehow.

"I'm sorry 'Ruka, I didn't mean to hurt you..."

"Stop! I can't do this Kakashi. I can't..." Iruka took a deep breath to try to calm his nerves, but instead started to cry. "You don't mean to hurt me, but you do…all the fucking time...I can't do this anymore..."

"'Ruka..." Kakashi reached for him. "…I'm sorry… I love you."

"No Kakashi. No more 'Ruka. And I don't love you." This time the Chūnin yelled. "I don't love you…not anymore."

Kakashi's face fell. He looked at Iruka with such pain on his eye that the Chūnin's heart ripped into two, but he was too tired to care. He choked back a sob as he quickly performed the transportation jutsu and disappeared.

…

Iruka landed in his living room and immediately sat down on his couch. He dried his tears and pushed his shirt up to reveal his belly as he dispelled the henge. And for some long minutes, he just stayed there, thinking about nothing while caressing his round belly.

Iruka really didn't know what to do. He couldn't hide the pregnancy forever. But he also couldn't just tell people he was pregnant. Not everyone would accept it well, that's for sure.

What about Kakashi? How would the Copy-nin react? Iruka shook his head. If it depended on him, Kakashi would never know about the pregnancy.

Just thinking about the man made Iruka's heart ache. He didn't want to snap at Kakashi. The words he'd said weren't true, but Iruka felt like the Jōnin needed to hear them.

He did love Kakashi. More than he should actually. But he just couldn't be in that kind of relationship anymore. A marriage isn't just about love, it also needs trust and fidelity to survive. Kakashi wasn't faithful and Iruka didn't trust him anymore.

He was tired spending sleepless nights, wondering where was the Jōnin. If he was really on a mission or spending the night with someone else.

He just couldn't take it anymore. It hurt. His marriage was over long before it started, he just pretended nothing was happening. Why? Iruka didn't know. Maybe he was hoping that all of that was just something from his mind.

 _The worst blind is the one who doesn't want to see, they say.._. Iruka thought sadly. _Maybe if I read the signs better back then, nothing of this could happen._

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the knocking on his door. Immediately he pushed his shirt down and went to open it. Hisayoshi was there with Mirai on his arms. She was sleeping with her head on his shoulder.

"Oh, Hisayoshi-san. Forgive me. I kinda forgot about you guys. Where's Genma and Ank…" Iruka stopped when he noticed how intently Hisayoshi was staring at him. Well, more like staring down at him.

When he saw where the dark-haired man was looking, Iruka wanted the floor to open in that exactly moment and shallow him alive. He was so lost in thoughts he forgot to hide his belly when he'd gone to open the door.

"Iruka-sensei," the Jōnin spoke. "What is it?"

* * *

Kakashi appeared outside of Tsunade's office and entered through the window. The busty woman was sitting on her desk studying some scrolls. She didn't look up when she spoke. "What brings you here, Hatake?"

"I want to sign the divorce papers."


	7. Chapter 7

Iruka made a bed of sorts using one of the large drawers from the his old dresser. He placed it on the floor and filled it with a pillow from the bed and laid Mirai in the makeshift crib. He thought about putting her on his bed but it was tall and the little girl could fall during her sleep.

He wondered why he still didn't buy any baby furniture and clothing yet. Maybe it was because he was sure he wouldn't be there to see his daughter using them. The thought that he might die during the childbirth saddened him more than scared him.

He sighed. He would have time to think about it later. Now he had a bigger problem waiting for him in the living room.

Switching off the light and leaving the door ajar, Iruka left his bedroom and went to the living room. Hisayoshi was sitting on the couch, drinking tea the Chūnin had prepared for him earlier, before taking Mirai to his bedroom.

Iruka sat down as well, next to him, feeling nervous and not really sure what to say. And after some minutes of silence, Hisayoshi decided that it was a good time to bring up the whole ordeal that took place in the entrance.

"Iruka-sensei, can you tell me what's going on?"

Iruka felt his body run cold and his eyes watering a little, instantly feeling like he was going to vomit. He could lie, he didn't know what he'd say, _anything but the truth will do,_ he thought. But he looked down at himself. His belly was big. He couldn't hide it anymore. "I'm pregnant..." He whispered. "but please, don't tell anyone. I don't want people to know. Especially Kakashi..."

The dark-haired Jōnin looked at him, his blue eyes wide in shock and it was so quiet, Iruka felt like Hisayoshi could hear his heart beating.

Hisayoshi cleared his throat. "I must confess that I wasn't expecting that. I mean, I noticed you were hiding something when I saw a concentrated area of chakra over your stomach..."

Iruka's eyes widened. "What? You saw that?"

"Well, I was able to see it when you got hit by Kakashi. I think he would be able to see it too if he wasn't so..." Hisayoshi stopped noticing the Iruka's sad expression. The Jōnin gave him a cautious smile. "You know, I thought it was a pretty good henge. Doesn't it make you tired... In your condition?"

"A little bit. But Tsunade-sama taught me how to maintain it without exhausting myself. It's just a matter of increased chakra control." Iruka smiled awkwardly. "I think the reason you saw it was because I didn't performed it perfectly. I didn't have enough chakra to do it."

"What do you mean?" Hisayoshi frowned.

Iruka bit his lip, not sure if he should open himself to the Jōnin. But then again, Hisayoshi already knew about his pregnancy, so why not telling him everything? "My pregnancy is not a normal one. Not only because I'm a man, but also because it's the result of a Jutsu. And when the Hokage did some tests on me to see if everything's okay with the baby, she found out that the baby is absorbing my chakra and somehow transferring it to her own body.."

Hisayoshi's frown deepened. "How?"

"I don't know. Tsunade-sama said the only way to stop it is abortion. It's not only my chakra that she's absorbing but my vitality too. Everyday I'm growing weaker and more tired. And if I keep the baby I might die during childbirth or after it." They sat in silence for a few long moments and then Iruka sighed. "You know, Hisayoshi-san, I... I always thought about having children. It took me a long time to come to terms with that because..." He gestured himself with one hand. "I mean, I'm a man. I'm a man." He repeated giving the dark-haired Jōnin a challenging look. "I confess that I thought about interrupting the pregnancy. But I could never do that. This child growing inside of me is already a big part of my life. I love her already."

"But aren't you afraid of dying?" Hisayoshi asked.

"Not really. As shinobis we are taught not to be afraid of death." Iruka sighed heavily. "but it saddens me to think that I might not be here for my daughter. To see her laughing, talking..."

Hisayoshi took one of Iruka's hands in his. Looking down the tanned man felt like it was so wrong. Hisayoshi's hands were cold and Iruka didn't like the sensation. But he didn't pulled away. "You don't have to sacrifice yourself Iruka-sensei.."

"What do you mean?" Iruka stared at him, surprised. "I told you I won't make an abort…

"You don't have to do that either." Hisayoshi smiled. "I know a medical-nin in Amegakure that can help you. I've seen him using a technique on pregnant women who almost lost their lives after the childbirth. Of course your case is a little bit different, but it can work on you too. If you want we can go to him." This time Iruka pulled his hands away. Hisayoshi could feel the Chūnin's hesitance. It was telegraphed in every line of his body. "Iruka-sensei, what do you have to lose? You said it yourself, you want to see your daughter growing…"

Iruka stood up. He didn't know what to say. It was too much information. "I need to think about it, Hisayoshi-san." he said. "I won't lie, I'm a little bit hopeful and scared at the same time. What if it doesn't work? Besides, I don't know if I'm allowed to travel to Amegakure. I need to talk with the Hokage first."

"Okay." Hisayoshi stood up as well and stepped closer to him again and Iruka mentally groaned. "I like you Iruka-sensei, and I want to help you." He whispered as he reached out and tilted the Chūnin's chin upwards with a barely steady hand. Iruka's dark-brown eyes met his blue ones.

They were too close and Iruka felt that cold hand again. He moved back when he felt the taller man's face come close to his lips. "Uh, thank you Hisayoshi-san. It's getting late, don't you think? I think you better go."

Hisayoshi nodded. "Yeah... I really should go.." he said awkwardly. "Well, tell me something when you decide about going or not to Amegakure."

"I will." said Iruka as he bit his lower lip. "Uh... Hisayoshi-san, please don't tell anyone about me."

"Don't worry, I won't say anything."

With that Hisayoshi left Iruka's apartment, closing the door after him. Iruka sat on the couch once again and stared at the wall for long minutes.

"What just happened?" he asked himself. Iruka didn't really know what to think. In one minute he was opening himself to Hisayoshi, and in the other the man was about to kiss him.

He wondered if the Jōnin was hitting on him. He pushed the thought away almost immediately. He didn't know Hisayoshi that well, but he did know the guy was extremely perceptive and quite intelligent. He had to be, he was shinobi after all.

Iruka shook his head. He had other things to think about. The medical-nin from Amegakure could help both him and his daughter. He felt hopeful, but not enough to make him happy. _What if it doesn't work?_ He pondered. Besides, Amegakure was quite far. He wasn't sure if he could travel in the conditions he was in now. He didn't have enough chakra. And sometimes just walking from his bedroom to the living room tired him, imagine traveling from a village to another.

A knock on the door broke his mind ranting, and Iruka decided that whoever was there was a Kamisend and whatever their purpose was, he was going to invite them in and they would stay for as long as it took for his mind to shut down. No matter how much they wanted to leave. He opened the door to reveal a sheepishly smiling Anko. _Good grief._ It was exactly the person he wanted to talk to.

"Anko, I'm so glad you're here." he said mimicking her smile. "Please come in, I have..."

"Sorry, Iruka-kun. Unfortunately I can't stay. I'm leaving in 5 minutes. I got a new mission. I just came to give you this." the Special Jōnin said handing him a scroll, "it's from the Hokage."

Iruka frowned as he opened it."What is it?"

"No idea." Anko shrugged. "I got go." She lowered herself slightly and softly caressed Iruka's tummy. "Bye little one." We that Anko disappeared.

Iruka's smiled faded as he read the scroll. Kakashi had signed the divorce papers. He should be happy, but he wasn't. He felt like his breath was ripped from his lungs and the air was thick as he gasped. His eyes stung with anguish as tears streamed his cheeks it tickled and itched as they dried.

There was nothing else connecting him to Kakashi. Now he would be able to move on. But he couldn't. Why was he crying? Why was he feeling such a pain. Was it because Kakashi signing the divorce papers was a conformation that the Jōnin didn't love him anymore? Iruka didn't understand. This was what he wanted... _right_?

He wept so much his head began to hurt, until sleep finally came and took pity upon him.

* * *

The following days Iruka felt groggy and disoriented, probably the result of a night of interrupted sleep and the lack of work. He had nothing to do. At least work kept his mind away from thinking too much.

He haven't heard about Kakashi for days. _Maybe it is for the best,_ he thought as he sat down, then stood up again and walked to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. He'd been going through the same motions for the last few hours, sitting then standing then pacing, and was almost considering begging Tsunade for some sort of sleeping pill that would knock him out for the night. And speaking of which, he hadn't still talked to the blonde woman about Amegakure. But he could do it later.

 _A little walking might lift your spirits_ , he told myself. _And maybe later talking with Tsunade-sama._ And in an uncharacteristic move he decided to take the morning off.

He performed the Jutsu to hide his pregnancy and sat down again to take deep breathes. _Hormones again? Or simply exhaustion?_ He was getting weaker each passing day.

He waited until he felt a little better and left his apartment, emerging onto sunny mall street _. Why not,_ Iruka thought _, extend the spree?_ He came upon a high-end maternity shop called Mamma. He'd never noticed it before, but then again he wasn't pregnant before.

In the window were two baby mannequins dressed in bright, cute clothes. _Well_ , he thought bravely, _why not? Just do it,_ _Iruka. Just walk right into that shop and pretend you belong. Wait. You don't have to pretend. You do belong. You're an official member of the mommies…no, 'daddies-in-waiting' club._

He pushed open the door to the shop and was greeted not by a bell or buzzer but by the nursery song "Yurikago no Uta" coming from a pink music box in the corner of the shop.

He looked around and noted that there were only female customers and no salespeople in view. When Iruka took the first step into the shop, all the women stopped their doings to look at him. He blushed and pretend it wasn't with him. He was sure three or four of them knew him from the Academy. He'd taught some of their kids.

The left wall of the shop was lined with shelves on which were stacked cotton baby girls shirts in a variety of colors. Iruka pulled a blue one from the touch. And then he checked the price tag. _What the fuck?_ It was too expensive for what was essentially a mini shirt? A mini shirt that would be useful for only a few short months?

"May l help you?"

Iruka jumped. He hadn't seen or heard the saleswoman approaching. He noted her extra-wide, extra-white smile and found himself mimicking it. _Pregnant people are happy people._ He reminded himself. _At least they should be._ But the shining saleswoman didn't have to know he was pregnant, did she? What would she think? He was a man. It wasn't normal. But even if he told her, she wouldn't believe him anyway.

Iruka closed the smile "Yes, thanks." he said nervously, returning the blue shirt to the pile. "My friend… a woman... She is pregnant. Not me of course. l just thought I'd look through the summer selection and maybe buy her baby a gift."

The saleswoman's smile now moved to her eyes. They were high beams below her forehead. "I confess that I was a little bit surprised when I saw you entering the shop. Not many men come here. Sometimes they come with their wives but they always prefer waiting outside." She paused only for some minutes and then asked. "Is it a girl or boy?"

"It's a girl."

"How nice.. Well, feel free to browse, and please let me know if you have any questions."

The woman disappeared as mysteriously as she'd arrived, and Iruka began to flip through a rack expensive pink dresses. Thirty seconds, he figured. After thirty seconds he'd walk his lying, crazy self to the door.

Now he was seriously thinking about money. His savings weren't enough to buy baby furniture, clothes and food. It was all too expensive. Maybe he could ask for money to the bank or the Hokage and pay with extra work after the baby was born. Iruka let out a smile. He really hoped that this medical-nin could help him.

"There you are!" he jumped. The saleswoman was at his shoulder again, buming brightly "Now, isn't this cute?" she said, thrusting an armload of pale blue fabric at him. Iruka focused. It was a unisex yukata, not a tent, and it was dotted with small smiling onigiri. "You won't even feel pregnant in this!" the saleslady bubbled.

 _But I will so look it,_ Iruka thought unhappily. Suddenly he snapped, realizing what the saleswoman had just said. "She won't feel pregnant..." he corrected her. "My friend is the pregnant one. Not me. I'm not the one who's pregnant. I'm a man."

The saleswoman directed a not-so-subtle glance at his midsection and with an air of practiced condescension said, "I know. By the way, we have more yukatas for pregnant women. Some have masculine designs and color. If you're interested, they are in the back."

Iruka felt mortified. Did the saleswoman know? Was he showing? Was his face exhibiting a telltale glow? Or was he just a lousy liar? Or worse, could it be that she was also a ninja. Could she see the henge. He knew a lot about ninjas who reformed due injuries or psychological traumas, and found normal jobs like waiters, florists or… _sellers_. Could it be possible that this woman was a reformed ninja?

Iruka shook his head. He didn't even want to think about it. The saleswoman walked off to accost a new customer. The yukata was exorbitantly expensive and completely hideous, but he bought it anyway. He could use it at home, when no-one was around. His clothes were getting too tight on him anyway. With that the Chūnin scurried from the shop like the fraud he was.

He leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes in frustration. _Well, that hadn't gone down very well_. He thought. Maybe he should just go back home before someone else noticed he was pregnant, but he was too tired. Taking a deep breath, he stood there until he felt better.

"Iruka!"

Iruka turned to the voice distractedly, only now realising that he'd been standing in one spot for the last five or so minutes, creating more interested chatter from the shoppers around him. He spotted Kakashi threading his way through the crowd towards him almost immediately.

Iruka wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to leave. He couldn't let Kakashi know how nervous he was. He wouldn't allow him that satisfaction of knowing that he was still reduced to a puddle whenever he saw the Jōnin, after all, a man has to hold on to his pride as long as he can.

 _Perhaps he wants to apologize._ Iruka thought. But as Kakashi neared, the younger man took one look at the expression in his dark-grey eye and knew he wasn't going to apologize. And as he opened his mouth to greet him, Iruka wondered to himself if it was possible for Kakashi to hear the pounding of his heart as it beat within his chest. "Kakashi-san." He simply said in greeting, pretending it was absolutely normal for him to be standing in the middle of a crowded baby clothing shop.

"What are you doing here?" The Copy-nin asked curiously.

"Ano… looking for…a gift?" he said helplessly, trying to hide the shop's paper bag. "though it's none of your business. Now, if you excuse me…?"

Iruka turned to leave, but was stopped by Kakashi grabbing his arm. "Wait Iruka…" The Jōnin avoided his gaze. "I'm training Naruto again."

"Oh," Iruka looked down for a moment as if he was hoping to hear something else, and then looked back up at the Jōnin as he let go of his arm. "That's good... I guess. Naruto must be happy. He always told me that he preferred being trained by you than Yamato…"

There was an awkward silence between them at the mention of Yamato's name. "Iruka," Kakashi started as he stepped closer to Iruka, making the Chūnin tense a little. "I…"

"Iruka-sensei."

It was as if for a minute, time had slowed down. Iruka looked past Kakashi and the Jōnin followed his gaze. They both looked at Hisayoshi. And the minute the Jōnin's blue eyes caught the scene before him, the color rose appeared on his cheeks.

Iruka didn't moved, forgot about it for a moment as Kakashi looked at the dark-haired Jōnin, an indescribably look etched unto his face.

Finally, the teacher spoke up, "Hi, Hisayoshi-san..."

Hisayoshi cleared his throat and ran a hand through his dark hair, darting furtive looks between Iruka and Kakashi. "I was looking for you," he said. "I talked with the Hokage about...that subject…"

"Oh...that's... that's great. I was thinking about doing that today."

Kakashi was being ignored, he knew it. He wanted to hit something, namely Hisayoshi. Iruka didn't want things to escalate like in the other day, so he finally decided move, walking in between the two Jōnins and putting the palm of his hand against Hisayoshi's chest. "Hisayoshi-san, I'm almost done in here, can give me a few minutes."

"Iruka..." Kakashi called. "It's okay. I need to go anyway." He strode away, hands in his pockets. "See you around." he said over his shoulder, and then was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Iruka entered his apartment followed by Hisayoshi. Leaving his shoes at the doorway, he dropped the henge, went straight to the living room to seat on the couch and placed the shop's bag on the coffee table.

He looked down at his round belly and smiled, and then frowned. Kakashi didn't make a scene when he saw Hisayoshi. Although he was glad the Jōnin hadn't done anything like the last time, it was weird for him to behave like that.

Deep down (really deep down) Iruka liked how jealous and possessive Kakashi could be. It somehow showed that the silver-haired man loved him...

Iruka couldn't deny it. He still loved the Kakashi. He would never admit it to anyone, not even to himself, but despite everything that had gone down between them, the Chūnin had somehow thought that there was a possibility of them reconciling on some level. Not to say that he imagined he and Kakashi going back to the way things were, he didn't think that would ever be possible. Instead, he had always thought that at the end of this journey, they would have been able to still be involved in each other's lives, whether on a platonic or friendship level.

The Copy-nin at one point in time, had been a big part of his life. Iruka had forsaken others to be with just him. Not to say that he was perfect, but as long as he remembered Iruka had remained faithful and loyal. Choosing to stay at home waiting for him. Only him.

He wanted to tell the older man he was pregnant, because he had the right to know, but at the same time Iruka knew that he didn't deserve to know.

 _Kakashi doesn't love me as much as before._

"Iruka-sensei," Hisayoshi interrupted his thoughts as he took a seat next to him on the couch. "Are you alright?"

Iruka sighed, "I am." Not wanting to say more (because he really didn't know what to say), he decided to change the subject, "so what did you want to tell me?"

"Ah," Hisayoshi smiled. "I talked with Tsunade-sama about the medical-nin. She said that it's too dangerous for you to travel in your condition."

Hisayoshi saw all of the color drained out of Iruka's face, "Oh," he whispered quietly. "So there's no hope for me then.."

"No…I didn't finish," Hisayoshi took one of Irukas hand in his. "Tsunade-sama knows the medical-nin. She wrote him. Now we just have to wait for his answer."

Iruka looked at the Jōnin and smiled hopefully. "Thank you so much, Hisayoshi-san. For doing this. I don't even know how to repay you." He let go of the dark-haired man's hand and shook his head. "How impolite of me, I should offer you something… do you want something to drink? Eat?" When he was about to stand up, Hisayoshi held his hand making him stay on the couch.

"I don't want anything Iruka-sensei, thank you," Hisayoshi leaned closer and caressed the Chunin's face, shifted a hand behind the tanned neck, fingers sifting through the brown hair. "Actually I want something," Iruka frowned as stared at him confused, "Iruka-sensei, since the first time I saw you, I fell in love with you. I didn't say anything or dared to get close to you before because you were with Kakashi…But now…"

Iruka's eyes widened. His face so close to Hisayoshi's he felt his sweet, warm breath against his cheek. Tiny shivers skittered across his skin when he became aware of the older man's intentions. Hisayoshi was about to kiss him. And he did.

At the beginning Iruka froze. Eyes wide open. Hisayoshi had confessed to him and was now kissing him.

Iruka didn't know what got into him as closed his eyes and returned the kiss. He could let Hisayoshi enter his life. Make everything better again. If this medical-nin could really help him. Iruka didn't know if he could raise his daughter alone. He didn't love Hisayoshi, but he could learn it, right? He was scared of being alone.

But it felt so wrong. It was beyond betrayal to be kissing one man and knowing he was pregnant with another man's baby. He felt dizzy…and not because of the kiss. He whimpered and pushed the Jōnin away gently.

"Are you alright, Iruka-sensei?" Hisayoshi asked, his brows drawing together when he saw the Chūnin's flushed cheeks. "You didn't like it?"

"No… I mean yes…" Iruka felt his face getting really hot from embarrassment. He really couldn't do this. It was wrong. "…I'm sorry. I really can't. At least not now. With things the way they are right now with Kakashi so unsettled. And then there is the baby… I just can't. I'm sorry, Hisayoshi-san. You're such a…"

"Please," Hisayoshi said, holding both his hands. "Please don't give me the 'you're such a nice guy' speech. I really don't know what stops you. I thought you and Kakashi are water under the bridge. Hasn't he already signed the divorce papers? Isn't it what you wanted?"

Iruka bit his lip and looked away. "I thought that's what I wanted, but the truth is that I still love him. A lot." He turned his face and looked at the Jōnin again. "That's why I cant do this to you. I can't be with you knowing that I love someone else. Worse, that I'm carrying his child. It wouln'd be fair."

Hisayoshi gently touched Iruka's tanned face. "I don't care. I love you Iruka-sensei. If you'd let me, I would take care of you, both of you. I would make you happy."

Iruka let out a sad smile. He had met this guy only a month ago, and somehow he felt so safe around him. He was a lot like Kakashi but better. He was the perfect man any woman would love to be with, but he'd chosen him out of all the people. And he was there. Helping him. Comforting him. Making him feel better. Offering to help him raising his daughter.

Iruka couldn't do that to him. He couldn't take away the Jōnin's chance to have children of his own with someone who loved him back. Really loved him. As more than just a good friend. "Thank you, Hisayoshi-san, for everything you're doing for me. Really" he told him. "But I really can't do this."

Hisayoshi nodded. Disappointment hardening the line of his jaw. "I understand." He stood up and then awkwardly plopped right back next to the Chūnin. "You know what? No. I don't understand. Kakashi cheated on you. And he kept coming and going either too selfish or too lazy to end things with you permanently. Now he finally made up his mind to end it all. You should be relived. But it seems like you want to wait for him. Wait for him to change his mind again. To come to you and asked you to go back to him. Why? Why are you letting him do this to you?"

This time Iruka snapped. "That's not it. And I'm not waiting for Kakashi. And I don't admit you talking to me like this just because you're angry with me. My feelings ... they're my problem. I'm sorry if my words hurt you but it's what I feel. You're my friend. One of the few I can trust. So please don't make me be angry with you."

Hisayoshi's expression softened. "I'm sorry Iruka-sensei. But I hate seeing you like this, all weak and miserable. You're wasting your time on someone who isn't good for you. You were so bright and alive when I saw you for the first time. I want you to have that spark again, the one that made me fall for you the minute I laid eyes on you."

"Hisayoshi-san…"

"No, I get it," Hisayoshi said, "It's like you said, my feelings are my problem. I'm not going to bother you anymore with this. I also don't want to lose you…as a friend." He stood up and smiled at the Chūnin. "I need to go...I will talk to you tomorrow."

Iruka nodded as he stood up as well. Hisayoshi gave him a brief hug and let himself out.

At the sound of the door shutting, Iruka sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face. _What the hell was that?_ He took his clothes off and went to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and let it beat over his neck and shoulders, which seemed to have been clenched since Hisayoshi first kissed him. How could that have gone so wrong so quickly? He really was caught off-guard by the Jōnin's interest. Of course there was that time they almost kissed, but Iruka didn't think about it too much. He'd thought it was just something from his mind. But now…

Iruka didn't know what to think.

When the hot water ran out, he toweled himself dry and then pulled a large shirt from the closet, only to realize that it wasn't his, but Kakashi's. What the..? he didn't even realized that he'd some of Kakashi's clothes on his closet. Maybe he'd taken by mistake and didn't even noticed them when he was packing.

He wrapped himself in the Copy-nin's scent, and caught a glimpse of himself in the dresser mirror. His eyes were red and puffy from crying in the shower. His belly was bigger. And he was thinner then he could remember.

He signed as he looked down at himself and smiled. "We're going to be alright, aren't we?"


	9. Chapter 9

Kakashi resisted the urge to punch the wall as he watched Iruka and Hisayoshi leaving the mall. together. He really wanted to punch the dark-haired Jōnin. Kakashi just couldn't stand Hisayoshi. But he had to. He didn't want to make the same mistake he'd done the other day, that's why he'd left.

Iruka used to love him, and that's what scared him the most. He'd been too afraid to accept that, to breathe it in. Because he was a coward, and he'd had something great but he ruined that.

But he wasn't going to give up. He wasn't ready to let the Chūnin go that easily. He would have Iruka back. He would prove that he'd changed and that Iruka was still the only one he loves.

"That went well. Considering," Jiraiya said cheerily.

Kakashi groaned. He'd almost forgotten that the Sannin was in the village for a few days. "You _would_ think that."

Jiraiya patted Kakashi's shoulder. "How long were you _actually_ standing there?"

Kakashi laughed, short and harsh. "Like, five seconds. Why?"

"Oh, no reason." Jiraiya sighed. Kakashi watched him walk towards a book store. The Copy-nin followed him. "You've got a lot of work ahead of you, kiddo. Work that I don't envy."

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, then laughed. "Oh, you mean against that Jōnin? Please."

The white-haired man's brows furrowed and he shook his head, entering the book store. "The fact that you can't see that Hisayoshi can have Iruka-sensei's heart at least as much as you do, says to me that you have absolutely _no_ _chance_ of winning the tug of war for your husband... oh, sorry, ex-husband."

Kakashi winced. "That Jonin _can't_ win—Iruka doesn't love him!"

"Did you know that Hisayoshi was once my student?" Jiraiya said smiling. "He is a lot like you, when it comes to determination. He doesn't give up when he wants something. But unlike you he doesn't keep too much anger and resentment inside him, even when he has reasons to. You'd be better off learning from his example."

"Are you kidding me?" Kakashi scowled.

Jiraiya groaned, covering his eyes with his hand. "Kakashi—you're making it really difficult to root for you. Arrogance and ignorance often go hand in hand, but that fact doesn't make them more attractive. Only less."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"It means . . . even though he is the same age as you, your rival is smarter and more mature. And Iruka . . . isn't just the young man you married, anymore. In these four years he gained so much life experience, love, and commitment. In his mind—in his heart and soul—he's not the same person you loved. Not exactly. He's grown and changed in ways that you, as you are, cannot understand."

Kakashi angrily listened to this with ears that seemed to burn. It felt as if all the blood in his body had rushed north, to his face and head. "But… I'm still the man he married and once loved. He can love me again."

"Hmm. And are you sure that you want Iruka-sensei to fall for this man again?" Off the Jōnin's confused look, Jiraiya shook his head. "The man Iruka-sensei married is a man who's never been in a committed relationship, who goes to the red light district after a mission, instead of going home and let his husband know that he is alive and he'd come back to him. The man that after four years of marriage got suddenly scared of being loved and instead of sitting and talking with his partner, decides to cheat on him… twice. Is _that_ the man you want Iruka-sensei to love again? The one that neither Iruka-sensei—nor anyone with a dram of common sense—would trust with their heart?"

Kakashi hung his head. "Maa… You're making it sound worse than it is—you're _catastrophizing_ my relationship with Iruka. I'm going to prove to him that I've changed."

"Have you really? Came to my ears that just in the other day, you just let jealousy and anger get the best of you and accidentally punched Iruka-sensei."

"I…" Kakashi was at lost of words.

Jiraiya sighed. "You can't enter into a relationship, then just leave when you get scared, and come back again as if nothing happened, Kakashi. You have to recognize that there are hearts—even _lives_ at stake. I've made the same mistake as you when I left Tsunade without even ending the things between us properly. The same hurt I see in Iruka-sensei's eyes are the same I'd seen in Tsunade's."

"Then what do I do, if I'm already losing so bad to that Jōnin?" Kakashi demanded turning around to leave the store. "I've never had to work at any kind of relationship in my entire life— _not even_ romantic ones. Everything's always just fallen into my lap at the right time—friends, missions. . . even Iruka. It's like he already belonged to me, and all I had to do was reach out and take him . . . just another gift from the world."

"Well," Jiraiya called from some distance behind Kakashi, who had paused at the door. "My suggestion to you—and take this with a grain of salt since, between you and me, I'm talking out of my ass—is that you stop being so jealous at Hisayoshi and start being everything Iruka-sensei's ever wanted in a man. Not _acting_ like someone he might want, or you'll _never_ get him. You must be _sincere_. You have to _be_ the person he wants, not _act_ like him. _Be_ the Hatake Kakashi he needs."

Those words were kinda familiar to Kakashi's ears. "I've already tried… That guy makes me just so mad. It's unfair that he can get close to Iruka!"

" _Life_ isn't fair. And neither is _love_." Jiraiya's voice was hard and not especially kind. Then he sighed and muttered to himself, elbowing Kakashi pointedly. "At any rate, you _might_ try being more thoughtful. One can never go wrong putting the considerations of others first, every once in a while. Especially when there's a courtship on the line."

"A _what_?"

The Sannin huffed. "You heard me. You're going to have to court your ex-husband to win him back. On the plus side, you already Know Iruka-sensei; his likes and dislikes. On the minus side... Hisayoshi doesn't _have_ to do anything to sabotage you, because so far, you're doing a bang-up job of sabotaging yourself, so to speak."

"Maa," Kakashi rolled his eyes. " you—you give the absolute _worst_ pep-talks I've ever heard!"

Jiraiya grinned. "So I've been told. Though this has actually been one of the better ones, I think," he said, sounding far too amused for Kakashi's liking. "Now look at this, they are not selling none of my books."

* * *

The next day, Iruka woke up groggily. He stayed in bed for what seemed like hours until he felt better.

Walking around the house made him really miss working. He had nothing to do. Maybe I could talk with some teachers, asking if they needed helping with grading or something.

A knock on the door took him out from trail of thought. Glancing at the clock, the Chūnin saw it was 12:30. He performed the Jutsu to hide his pregnancy and wiped his face with his hands as he walked to the door. He opened it to see Kakashi standing on the porch holding Mirai. Naruto was right by their side.

"Mirai-chan and Naruto wanted to see you," Kakashi said. "You're not gonna turn them away, are you?"

The Copy-nin held up Mirai under the armpits and pushed her towards Iruka. The little girl looked at him with her big doe red eyes, then said, "Kashi-san sad."

"Can you make us ramen?" Naruto asked grinning.

Iruka looked at Kakashi then at Naruto, then he looked back at at Kakashi once again. Was the Jōnin for real? Was he really using the kids to manipulate him?

He signed. He was tired and Kakashi was right. He couldn't turn Naruto and Mirai away. "Okay, come in." Iruka took Mirai from Kakashi, hugged her to his chest and kissed her chubby cheek. He stepped aside so that Kakashi and Naruto could come inside.

Kakashi looked around curiously. There were a few boxes around the living-room. He walked over to a small bookshelf that stood propped against one end of the room with a few books and a solitary picture frame. He smiled faintly at the glare Naruto was directing Sasuke's way. They looked so young and untroubled. He picked up the light frame, caressing the grainy wood under his thumb before putting it back.

"Why don't you guys stay here, while I cook something for you." Iruka's voice made Kakashi turn. The Chunin left Naruto and Mirai playing in the livingroom and went to the kitchen. Kakashi followed him.

"You did an incredible job with them," he said to Iruka as he stepped in close behind the younger man.

Iruka laughed. "We both did."

"Yeah. But mine wasn't good enough."

Iruka bit his lip and turned to face the Jōnin. "Sasuke's choices are his own," he said definitively. "You didn't know - neither of us knew - the extent of the secrets that surrounded him, but you trained him, listened to him, protected him, cared for him. There is only so much we can do, then we have to give them their freedom, even if their choices run counter to what we taught, even when they cause us pain." Iruka studied Naruto in the living room. "You did everything you could for them and that's why Sakura and Naruto love you. I'm sure Sasuke does too, even if he won't let himself remember."

"Uh... Thank you." Kakashi simply said. "Do you need help... with the cooking, I mean…?"

Iruka looked at the Jōnin. He wanted to ask what does the Jōnin wanted and reprehending him for using the kids on him. But he was tired and didn't want to have another argument. "Sure."


End file.
